Are you ready for some lying? Today's film is Branded, a film that abruptly got a bunch of ads run for it the week before it premiered, bombed and then fell off the face of the Earth. It's on DVD though, so I Netflixed it. That's a word now, you know. So, in order to truly understand why I reviewed this movie, I want you to see the trailer. To be fair, it's not a complete lie like the Paranormal Activity 3 Trailer or the Highlander: Endgame 'Magic Trailer.' If you know anything about this movie, it's probably from the Trailer. Let's dispel all of that, shall we? Branded tells the tale of a Russian Ad Exec whose life takes a weird turn after a major PR Fiasco. He comes home to find something weird going on that only he seems to be aware of. How can he stop this menace? There will be SPOILERS, but you will thank me later, I think. To find out, read on...
A young boy in Russia is struck by lightning from Ursa Major (who's also the Narrator). This makes him see the error in Communism and pursue a career in advertising.
In the present, we are treated to some awkward narration to explain our hero's present situation. He's working on a reality show in Russia, although he's actually a British Ex-Pat (and Tom Stoppard's son).
If you're wondering why this has nothing to do with the evil Advertising Monsters, it's because it doesn't. Well, mostly.
They are the representations of the brands and our desire for them. No, really.
As for the 'evil guy who runs the world' plot, it ends abruptly when he gets struck by lightning. Deus Ex Bullshit.
They cause no actual damage, of course, as they are merely theoretical concepts that only this crazy guy...I mean, our hero, can see.