Another day, another Herschell Gordon Lewis remake- joy. Fortunately, they did not try to turn this into a horror comedy like they are doing with the sequel to the remake of Two Thousand Maniacs. This is a pretty close remake, although some dramatic liberties are definitely. The film is benefited (and sold on) one great bit of casting. Of course, there is an equally-terrible bit of casting that sort of works against the film in the same way- more on that later. The film also has two other things going for it that the original one did not: topless women! That's right, this movie is 'enhanced' by the addition of The Suicide Girls, a group of models that have tattoos, which, of course, makes them edgy. Enough talk about boobs (at least until tomorrow)! Let's go right into...
1. What is the same?The basic premise of the film is still intact. A reporter (this time a guy) and his lover (a lady, naturally) go to a weird rave-like pit to see an old-time magician who seemingly performs this way ironically. He tortures women (and one man) on stage and then they are alright. They die a bit later however and nobody figures out the connection. Montag the Magician is still the best part of the movie.
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2. What is different?Our hero is a douche-bag who has a trust fund and runs an old time newspaper because he can. Wow, it is good to see that realism is dead. The man also makes creaking noises when he moves around too quickly. Why? Good question. He also has a dull girlfriend and a caring best friend, who looks like the lead singer from Counting Crows. His death is...well, bad. The women are also forced to be topless (or more) before they are killed. Why? Why the hell do you think? The movie also features a Geek who performs a gross trick until a woman gets up, which makes her the assistant. Interesting idea until you realize the reality behind it...
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3. What is extremely, extremely stupid?The Geek is played Jeffrey Combs, under a giant wig and beard. Casting a good actor and disguising him? Interesting. Casting a good actor, disguising him and never really utilizing him? F-ing stupid! There- I said it.
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4. What kind deaths do we get?
The deaths are brutal, viscious and in-your-face. There is some creativity given here, including a woman who is executed in a style not seen outside of Greek mythology. The man who gets a pool cue put in him as well. Of course, one lady dies by falling onto a glass table and getting decapitated as well. Yeah, that makes sense. On the plus side, these crazy scenes distract you from the plot.
The deaths are brutal, viscious and in-your-face. There is some creativity given here, including a woman who is executed in a style not seen outside of Greek mythology. The man who gets a pool cue put in him as well. Of course, one lady dies by falling onto a glass table and getting decapitated as well. Yeah, that makes sense. On the plus side, these crazy scenes distract you from the plot.
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5. Does the ending make sense this time?
In a word- no. I won't go into serious detail (be disappointed on your own), but I will sight my original comments at the time I wrote my review on Netflix. "The ending was getting good...and then it kept going...and changing the events. I wanted to like it through to the end, but it was too much for its own good."
In a word- no. I won't go into serious detail (be disappointed on your own), but I will sight my original comments at the time I wrote my review on Netflix. "The ending was getting good...and then it kept going...and changing the events. I wanted to like it through to the end, but it was too much for its own good."
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On the plus side, Brad Dourif is good in his tiny, supporting role. Like Spoony says, he really does bring a little class to these movies. Why is he not ever the star again?
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I really wanted to like this movie, but it just shot itself in the foot. They take some interesting ideas, mix them in with the narrative set from the original film and...just fall flat on their faces. You get Glover and then make him second-fiddle to the gay player from Remember The Titans. Incidentally, most reviewers credit him as such, so it is not me being lazy...well, alone that is. Bijou Phillips is here, but the film would barely be different if they cut her entire role. Kip Purdue was just awful in the role and I failed to care about anything he did. At least the topless women were kind of good-looking, even when they tried to hard to dress in an ironically-anachronistic manner. By the way, I defy you to find another person to use the expression 'ironically-anachronistic' in a sentence. A neat idea buried under a pile of 'eh.'
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Up next, a movie about two giant things that nobody ever wanted to look at. No, it's not Godzilla vs. Megalon. Stay tuned...
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