Saturday, May 6, 2017

Triple B Flix: Picasso Trigger

Yes, this is an Andy Sidaris Film and NOT a Dan Brown Novel.  Today's Film is Picasso Trigger, the first real Sequel in the Series.  There are still 9 more to go!  In this Film, a bad guy wants revenge and his plan is complicated.  On top of that, his is not the only plan in this Film!  This one of those 'look how complex our Story is' Films that really doesn't do much with it.  It has twists and turns just to have twists and turns.  In addition, all of the usual stuff is here.  Busty women, machine guns, muscular men and explosions.  I'm pretty sure that at least one guy here would not pass a Wellness Test!  To the Film's credit, the Story does sort of build on the past one.  To the Film's detriment, we have most of the Cast returning, but a new Lead just shoved in.  It would be like if all of The Avengers returned, but Iron Man was now played by Dougray Scott...and also they were in an Andy Sidaris Film.  As an added bonus, the Cargo Company Owner is now suddenly Q!  This is supposedly him playing a character in Seven (the lone Sidaris Film not in the Set)- the Film that was mentioned as being a Film *within* Hard Ticket to Hawaii (it appears as a Poster).  In other words, Malibu Express really happened, but was also a Film...and so was Seven...but one guy in Seven is now a real guy in this Film.  Confused?  Great!  To find out what silliness happens here, read on...
In some lazy Exposition, our Title Character listens to a News Broadcast explaining how a Criminal wants revenge now that he is free.

Next on News at 9- Hey, look over there!
After donating a painting, the man is killed, since he was part of the revenge plot.  Remember this.
More people die as the Film continues to try and pretend that it is ever in Las Vegas.  2 Agents on a road and then 2 more at Edy's, the real place that must love the Sidaris connection.

To expand the Plot, they try to kill our two Ladies from the last Film, building on the idea that one is in Witness Protection.  Minor kudos.
The agent with Picasso is sent to meet our new Hero and they immediately...go line dancing.

Okay, they have sex AFTER line dancing.  You almost fooled me, Andy.
Even though people are dying, there is still time for some random Nudity!
He assembles a Team of ladies and dudes (including one of the thugs from Express!) to take out the bad guys.  Translation: a bunch of separate Action Scenes to pad things out.

Allow me to break it down simply...
They blow up the killers from earlier (with a Boomerang that has an explosive on it).
They take out the guy behind the killings earlier with, you guessed it, an explosive (stuck to a spear).
After about six twists (Picasso faked his death, the new Agent was with him AND he faked his death again), the final guy (Picasso) is killed explosive.

To change things up, they DON'T wrap it up on the Boat.  Boo.  The End.
More of the silly same.  This is an Andy Sidaris Film.  This is just what they are all going to be, isn't it?  In defense of the Film, it is at least a Sequel in some regards.  He remembered the one lady's back-story (which is less impressive when you realize that this Film came out the next Year).  They still don't actually explain what her connection is- just that she was a witness.  In addition, two of the random Agents to be killed just happen to also come to the same Island as where she works.  It is a good thing that there aren't more than 2 Islands in Hawaii.  The re-use of Actors as the same Characters is good.  The re-use of Actors as different, contrasting Characters is not.  How is the guy that just run a Cargo Company now a Q-like Inventor from a fictional Film within the same Universe?  How is the black bodybuilder thug now an Agent of, I guess, L.E.T.H.A.L.?  He's also notable for being in Express, the Film that is a Film...but also happened...maybe.  So is he an Actor who was in Express that became an Agent?  Was he a thug in real life, then played himself (a la Special Effects) and became an Agent?  Does this matter at all?!?  In the end, this is pretty silly, forgettable fluff.  After all my confused ranting about the bodybuilder guy, at least he was helpful, right Patticakes?  Oh.
Next up, I continue with Sidaris.  Like a Band-Aid, you just have to pull it off...9 more times.  Stay tuned...

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