Quick Reviews: Fantastic Four (2015)

I didn't pay to see this thing in Theaters and chose Ant-Man instead.  Now see why I made the better call...

After building a Dimensional Portal as a kid (naturally), Reed Richards is recruited to join the Baxter Institute and build a better one.

Along with Sue & Johnny Storm and Victor Von Doom, they build it!  Sorry, Ben- you're not good enough!

The initial test works, so they now plan to send NASA Engineers.  This displeases our self-centered heroes...for some reason.

If you want to know where all of the money was blown here, Exhibit A- CG Shot of Chimp!

When the guys (along with Ben) go anyway (since nobody guards a scientific landmark achievement), something happens and they get powers.

Oh and give Sue some for being in the room when the device pops back.  Why not?!?

Things don't go smoothly from thereon out & our heroes get all mopey and dramatic.  Who wants to like people in a Movie?!?

When Doom returns for revenge (in the last 20 minutes), will our heroes work together to stop him?  More importantly, will the Pentagon try to appease them with what appears to be a tray full of bread?

Again- that last one is true, but that's all I'll say.  The End.

I can see why this didn't work.  The Film does its best to make you not like its Characters.  It's daring in a way, I suppose, if that was intentional.  I don't think that it is though.  I think that they legitimately-thought that this was good.  The dark, dreary Tone- perfection.  The bitter, unhappy Characters- dynamic!  The fact that everything is color-corrected to look gray and brown- brilliant!  There's a good Movie somewhere in this thing...but good luck digging it out.  Why can't we get the Fantastic Four right?  When I started reading the Comics, they were in a dark time.  Johnny Storm was a former-criminal who found out that his girlfriend was a Skrull.  The Thing wore a helmet to hide his scarred face.  Invisible Woman cut a '4' out of the front of her outfit.  Mr. Fantastic was mopey and, later, dead.  Hell, even their kid was kidnapped, sent to the Future (don't ask) and replaced with a mopey Teenager!  Yes, the Tim Story Films had problems, but they were fun.  This is just not.  There is some unintentional Irony here as the Story's Third Act has the Characters doing things they don't want to because the situation is forcing them to.  It is kind of like everyone involved in this Film, right?  There has to be a balance between these two Films and finding that is the solution to this Franchise.  That or you could just keep doing weird stuff like giving us random Tim Heidecker Cameos...

A Film that actively tries to make you not like it and its Characters.  That's something...right?