Thursday, April 9, 2015

Strange Killers: Sasquatch Hunters

Just for the record: nobody actually hunts a Sasquatch.  Lying right off the bat- always a good sign!  Today's film is 2005's Sasquatch Hunters, a movie about...well, guess.  You'd guess wrong, of course, unless the thing is based solely on the 3 guys who die right at the beginning.  Is that the idea?  The Film is *actually* about a bunch of people who go out to the Woods to find fossil evidence of Bigfoot and shit goes down.  I guess Sasquatch Archaeologists wasn't as cool...and may have been confusing.  Note to self: right a Film about Sasquatches investigating pre-Apocalyptic life in the year 2448.  Nobody else read that.  Anyhow, this one doesn't really do too much that's unique or interesting...but I already watched it.  Mine doesn't have Bill Oberst Jr like Maynard's did, but it does have...nobody I can recognize.  Shit.  Oh well, Bears crap in the Woods and people make crappy Bigfoot Movies in the Woods too.  Is that really bad or just kind of bad?  To find out, hike on...
These three are looking for Bigfoot and failing at Comic Relief.  They are also in the Opening, so...
...they die from a static image of Bigfoot lunging at them.  Great start, guys.
After that, we get the basic Setup: a Science Group is going to be led out into th Woods by some Rangers and our hero, a guy with a 'tragic mishap on a trip' back-story.
They aren't looking for an actual Sasquatch now.  They are just looking for fossil evidence to prove that they were and/or are still around in a mostly-deserted stretch of Woods.  POV!
The one surviving Hunter spots our Cast and tries to call out for help, but is killed.  A nice, sudden moment...killed by the terrible CG Models used to do it.  Aw.
They find a Bigfoot Burial Ground (better title!) and celebrate this discovery.  People start to vanish...
The group is freaked out when the bones are reburied while they are away.  They flee and end up...at the Cabin by the people they talked about earlier who originally found some bones.  What are the odds?!?
As the Cast is whittle down, they continue to try and escape.  Cue the not-quite-realistic CG Models.
After some drama, our heroes drive away slowly from some guys in black...er, Bigfoots.  The End.
This is really not that good.  It isn't really that terrible though either.  It is just kind of 'meh.'  The idea of killer Bigfoot is not bad.  The idea of being stuck in the Woods and hunted by killer Bigfoots is also good.  It is certainly better than, say, a magic Bigfoot that can teleport.  Who would make something that stupid?!?  The problem is that the Writing isn't that great, the Acting isn't that great and the whole thing just feels kind of cheap.  They briefly use practical effects like suits, which is nice.  All I can figure is that they couldn't get the faces right, so they use awkward CG Models when the full body and face are shown.  How bad could the face be?  The CG here is just not that good and is really distracting.  They do accomplish some interesting moments, like when the group is split up and stalked in the Woods.  The trade-off is that I'm not sure HOW they got separated when they are all running towards the same location.  Regardless, the Film is just kind of run of the mill.  When you consider how much Bigfoot stuff there is- from In Search Of to The Asylum's Bigfoot- that isn't good.  You have to do something to stand out a little...but they don't.  Enjoy that silly CG Bigfoot face one more time...
Next up, we'll stick to the Ape-like theme.  I'm going to do all TEN Films from one 'Kong'-related DVD set- fun!  Stay tuned...

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