Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Syfy Channel Week: Dinoshark

Roger is one busy, old man!  After years in a sort of a retirement- he last Directed Frankenstein Unbound in 1990- he has returned in the last few years to exploit a rich Direct-to-DVD/Syfy Channel market.  Between that and licensing the majority of his films for new, Blu-Ray releases, the guy is having a serious revival.  With Sharktopus, Dinocroc vs. Supergator (future review- no doubt) and today's film, things are looking up for the octogenarian auteur.  Today's film is about a rare breed of dinosaur that gets freed from some ice and starts killing people.  Yes, this is sort of like Roger Corman Presents Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus.  With that in mind, let's get out some 'dinochum' to lure out the...
The film begins with a man out in the Arctic being attacked by the titular creature.  This is pretty much the Syfy Opening, but we get a plot point out of it.  It's a very minor one, but it's something.  The film jumps to Mexico, since Corman was just filming all of his movies there.  It is Corman, after all.  Our hero is played by Eric Balfour, a character actor whose career is in just the right place to star in a Corman film.  He's returning home to work as a Captain for boat trips around the area.  He meets up with his old friends and a new one, a blond lady who is studying ocean creatures.  Gee, your skill-set isn't specifically-suited for this film.  The young, hot friend goes off for a swim and meets her end at the teeth of the Dinoshark.  Get used to the same 'shark swims at the camera shot,' since it's used for nearly every attack scene.  Hell, it's even on the DVD cover- they must be proud of it.
Our hero finds out that his lady friend is dead, which makes him sad.  While out in his boat, he comes across a Harbor Patrol boat that gets attacked by the Dinoshark.  He instantly assumes that the new creature must be the one that killed her.  I mean, he's right, but that is a bit of a guess.  Meanwhile, a bunch more random people get killed.  This includes some surfers- in the shot from the trailer- and a couple going out on a paddle boat.  Unfortunately, another one of Balfour's friends is among the victims.  He's hooking up with a lady friend at his ocean-side estate when he's killed.  Cock-blocked by a Dinoshark- isn't that always the case?!?  As part of a sub-plot that really goes nowhere, the Sheriff doesn't believe Balfour, since the boat owner left a bunch of drugs on it.  It's going to take the Dinoshark leaping over him Free Willy-style and taking out a chopper for him to believe you.  Oh good- those two things just happened.
The Dinoshark is back, but this time it's personal.  Our hero gets a bit obsessed with taking the creature down, even though his lady friend is the one that gets hot flashes from it.  It's an internet meme- look it up.  Taking a page from Jaws 2 and 3, this movie features a big event taking place in the water right around the time that the Dinoshark is on the loose.  This leads to a series of scenes where the Dinoshark takes out tourists, including one bit where it kills a guy out para-sailing.  When it takes out a guy on the boat and goes for the lady, Balfour goes into action!  He ends up driving a jet ski while holding a hand grenade & leaps at the creature in the most bad-ass moment of the film.  Just like Yeti, there's no topping this moment.  The End.
It's like Sharktopus, but without the ironic theme song.  The plot of this film is pretty basic, but it works.  The Dinoshark kills people, while our hero hunts for him.  It's nothing that hasn't been made before or will be made in the future.  Corman isn't known for his thought-provoking, genre-bending films, folks!  That said, the movie is fun and simple.  The special effects are actually decent at times (see above).  Sure- a lot of them suck.  There are enough of them to keep you interested.  If you're actually willing to rent a movie called Dinoshark, I can tell you that you'll have a good time.  For the rest of you, you're just as well off watching Amadeus.  Take us away, most famous part of the movie (thanks to The Soup)...
Up next, the first of two movies with nearly the same plot...just with different locations.  This one has possibly the best film title ever!  Stay tuned...

No comments:

Post a Comment