Why? Why do I do this? After discovering the film's box art for VHS For the Win way back in April 2010, I track down a film by David DeCoteau, the man whose best film is Puppet Master 3 (which is only alright). The man behind Witches of the Caribbean, Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy, Nightmare Sisters and Dr. Alien. The man who made a series of 'bi-curious' Edgar Allen Poe adaptations that I will probably never see. Go ahead and watch them- I dare. The film for today, however, is 1986's Dreamaniac, a movie so deadly that was 'too gory for the silver screen.' Just for the record- Cannibal Holocaust and Anthrophagus were released in Theaters. This film is essentially the 'pre-Asylum version of an Asylum version of Nightmare on Elm Street.' As a quick side note, why is there not an Asylum version of Nightmare on Elm Street (the remake- duh)? Am I the only one who wants to see what they would do with, say, Main Street Nightmare or The Demon of Elm Street? Back to the film- it sucks. To see how, read on as I face off with the...
The film begins with a long, boring credits scene which is nothing but text over a black screen with rock music playing. Don't you love films that use the slow, establishing shots to overlay credits? I know I do! The plot begins, I'm not kidding, a shot of a man's pasty ass. I'm not surprised, I suppose, but I was hoping for something different. I should note that DeCoteau's other films from 1986 are Revenge of the Babes and Boys Camp Memories. No, really. This is all a dream sequence that amounts to nothing much. Essentially, our hero is a wannabe-rocker who is having writer's block. After 'making teh sex' with his lady friend (in a DeCoteau film?!?), he decides to do a ceremony to bring the weird succubus from his dreams into life. Why? The only dream we were shown ended with her killing you! All that matters is that she's here and just in time for some company...
It all breaks down to this. The sister of our hero's girlfriend throws a party in the house that our hero is house-sitting. For whom is he doing this- never said. The creature takes this as its chance to get some fresh blood, while our hero essentially does nothing to stop it. Thanks. Annoying banter, bad acting and low-production values ensue. I made it about an hour into this before I gave up. If you make it further, let me know. The End (at least for now).
David continues to underwhelm. The plot of this movie is basic and leaves a lot to be desired. The entire premise rests on a simple idea: our hero needs a reason to summon the creature. Unfortunately, he has none. As I mentioned, we see one dream bit where she attacks him, so what is his motivation? Is he so dumb that he thinks that he can do the ritual and nothing will happen? Aside from that gaping plot hole, the rest of of the movie is no better. The acting is bad, the script is bad and it just feels cheap. On top of that, the characters are just spiteful and rude to each other. The biggest problem is this- I don't care. They did nothing to make me interested in the characters and their fate. You can make the best monster ever and have an Argento-quality script, but this oversight can kill your film right there. Note to Producers: taking a guy right out of gay porn to do your generic horror films is not the best idea! At least this isn't awkward...
Up next, we switch to Killer Mammal Week. It begins properly with the classic tale of mentally-handicapped child against man-eating tiger. Stay tuned...
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