Reggie is back! Most famous for his role as, well, 'Reggie' in the Phantasm series, Reggie Bannister is a working character actor. That's right- he does other things besides being chased around by an 83-year old man in a suit! No offense, Angus Scrimm. So what kind of stuff does he doe when he's not being chased by metal orbs that randomly get new powers? He appears in movies like 2004's Cemetery Gates. I'd go back to the Phantasm movies, dude! The film involves a group of young adults going out to make a movie, only to find that a killer Tasmanian Devil is on the loose in the same forest. No, really. Would any more explanation help this out? Nope. Let's just kick open those...
Let's start with the first plot of many. Our hero is in College and goes off to make a movie in the woods. It's all part of his project, so he's making a zombie movie. Yeah, that makes sense. In Plot B, his dad (Bannister) has been working on a mutant creature for...some reason. There apparently was a point at some time, but it's been several years since then. You still have funding, how? The point of all this is to tell you about the creature that was just stolen by some animal activists. Here's a tip for you guys- if the box is 4x your size and rattles, don't take it! They go out looking for it, making sure to bring a gun, but not a cell phone. In the other plot, our hero goes out with his crew. They consist of himself, his girlfriend/make-up artist/actor, a couple of stoner guys and a whore. I say that in jest, but that is the only notable aspect of her character. In Plot B/C, the creature kills the 'hippies' and runs around in the forest. I list it as Plot C because it almost never meets up with the main plot. In Plot D, there is a redneck family that plans to rob our heroes. This one also never quite syncs up with rest of the movie. Confused yet?
After some Meta jokes about low-budget zombie films (why?!?), the plot finally starts to get moving. Nah, just kidding. Instead, we randomly will cut to our heroes and randomly cut to Bannister. In between those scenes, the creature kills random people- most of whom don't get names. I know you're wondering, so I can tell you that Poor Bastards of Cinema will be busy with this film in the coming weeks. There's really not much more to say here. It's random, stupid and doesn't affect the overall plot too much. Before these scenes, we knew that the creature was deadly. After these scenes, we still knew it...just with more dead hikers than we had before. Moving on...
Let's awkwardly wrap-up the plots, shall we? The guys from Plot D get killed. I know- I'm sad too. Plot C meets up with Plots A and B when Bannister finds his son. Unfortunately, a bunch of his friends are dead too- so sad. The remaining members of the group end up in a tunnel with the monster in pursuit. There's a whole sub-plot involving the Tasmanian Devil being a family pet early on, which creates a conflict for our hero. Plus, it means that the monster is called 'Precious.' Heh heh. Anyways, the lady doctor is killed while our heroes try to escape. There's a bit of confusion as they leave, but Bannister doesn't...until he decides to later. They get out of the tunnel and put a gate over the exit. They decide that they can't spare the creature, so they blow it up with dynamite. On the plus, you didn't die. On the negative, lots of random people did die. Oops. The End.
This puts the Tas in Tasmania alright! The plot of this movie is goofy and random. It has comedic moments, but it never really commits to being a comedy. For example, one scene has some hippies taking acid and seeing 'Precious' as a cartoonish beast. That's kind of funny, but then he kills them in a very bloody fashion! Ha ha- it's funny because they died! I'm all for dark humor (see stuff like World's Greatest Dad), but this is just so non-committal that I can't get into it. Be a comedy or be a horror-comedy! If you can't decide what you want to be, why should I care? To be fair, the film is kind of interesting to watch, even if it turns into a bunch of random kills for the entire Second Act. I was never really bored with the film. I also liked how the film used lots of practical effects (i.e. suits, stage blood) in lieu of CG. Given the budget, it's probably because they couldn't afford it, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Is this a good horror film? Kind of. Is it at least worth a look? Yes. If nothing else, it contains one young woman's desperate plea for attention...
Up next, we wrap up Killer Mammal Week with about killer monkeys. I hope you like 80 minutes of boredom with a side of F. Murray Abraham! Stay tuned...
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