Thursday, May 26, 2011

Instant Foreign: Paintball

Paintball- really?  This totally-real film comes to us from Spain.  Why?  Who knows?  Honestly, I'm not that surprised by this movie existing.  After all, the game of paintball was an important plot point in Friday the 13th, Part 6: Jason Lives.  No, really- check it out!  So what is the plot of this movie?  Basically, a game of paintball leads to murder.  That, that's pretty much it.  Continuing the theme of the week, people also act like complete and total assholes to each other for no reason!  So yeah, let's get to it.  Guard your balls as we prepare to play...
A bunch of people go out to play a military-themed Paintball game.  It's simple- they must race through a field to find a series of objectives before another team finds theirs.  We quickly learn two things about the group.  First- they have pretty much no character.  Aside from how stock they're written, they spend most of the film wearing big masks and running.  Second- what little character they show just proves that they are all assholes.  I mean, just wow.  What is the point in filling a film with characters that I want to see die?  As far as the actual plot goes, the group make it to their first objective and find...a bullet-proof vest.  Why would you need that unless someone was firing real bullets?  Oh wait- someone is now.  Ouch.
If you like running and whining, you're in luck!  Seriously, that's about all they do.  They get shot at, bicker and run around some more.  I love how they continue to carry around their paintball guns this whole time, as if they would do them any good.  Are you planning to shoot the guy with paint until he agrees to not kill you?
By the way, I didn't muster up the interest to watch all of this film.  If you want to, more power to you.
Paintball is scary!  The plot of this movie is just kind of silly.  I mean, it's treated like a serious thing...but it's not.  A guy/group of guys is trying to shoot people who are out playing Paintball.  Would any explanation for this do?  Seriously?!?  That said, the film is shot well, the dubbing (thanks for the lack of options, Instant Viewing!) is alright and it does capture the frenetic tone that they were going for.  The trade-off, of course, is that it's hard to really focus on it.  Add in the fact that the characters are always running and wearing masks with the hand-held camera motif & you get a hard film to follow.  I think the lesson is that only one source can make Paintball fun to watch- the makers of Community.  Take us away, Aved!
Up next, we wrap up the official reviews with another French film.  Does its star power cover for the fact that it's by the director of Catwoman?  Stay tuned...


  1. Psst - the paintball game was in FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: Jason Lives. Just sayin'. ;)

  2. I enjoyed the opening scene and a few kills - everything else about 'Paintball' just sucked.