Saturday, March 5, 2011

Lock Me Up!: I Am Omega

You are failure.  This Asylum film is a rip-off of I Am Legend.  There is at least a little creativity in the title, as it takes the first two words from the Will Smith film and the last one from the previous version of the story- The Omega Man.  I was really hoping for I Am Last Man on Earth though!  So which star 'that could have done better at one point' do they have today?  The film's secret ingredient- Marc Dacascos.  For those of you who don't know, Marc is a martial artist who has gotten a lot of role in films over the years.  I will always remember him, however, for his role as an Indian in the French horror-action hybrid Brotherhood of the Wolf.  Ha ha ha- confusing racism.  Will he be able to carry an Asylum film above the usual lot?  Probably not
The film begins with no explanation as to what has happened.  We just see empty shots of Los Angeles.  Just to note- a number of these shots were re-used for The Day The Earth Stood Still...just with giant, still robots added in.  A bunch of zombies attack a house occupied by a shirtless Dacascos- wasting no time, huh?- and he fights back.  He takes them out quickly, making a note to avoid getting blood on himself.  I should note that as he walked out, they showed a picture of a dog like Smith's from I Am Legend, the implication being that he was already dead.  That's just cheap!  Was it too hard to get a dog to act on cue, you hacks?!?  Dacascos finally gives us some back-story in the form of audio recordings that he hears on the radio.  Of course, this is also meant to show that he's going crazy from being alone so long too.  So is the stuff they say what really happened or not?  You can't confuse the simple act of exposition so hard by accident!  He suddenly gets a message and it's coming from a woman on a webcam.  He freaks out, runs outside and shuts off the breaker to his house!  You go from 0 to crazy in about 3.5 seconds, Marc!  Speaking of crazy, he drives to a barn...that is the same one from Alien vs. Hunter...and talks to a mannequin he propped up.  It was actually kind of clever in I Am Legend, but not here.  Oh yeah, he also sets a timed detonator too!
Finally, the plot kicks in properly at about the half hour mark as Dacascos gets another message and actually stays calm.  A woman in the city asks for his help, since she is surrounded by the zombies.  He says 'no' and tries to move on with his life.  That ends when a pair of armed rejects from the Mercenaries game series show up and ask him to help with the mission to rescue the girl.  He says 'no,' so one of them blows up his house with an RPG.  That's what they say happens, however, as The Asylum can't afford to blow up a real location- probably David Michael Latt's house- or make a good explosion effect.  Now with a couple of guns to his head, our hero says 'yes' to the mission.  They wander about the sewers for a bit and kill more zombies, before the pair split up from him.  He eventually meets up with the woman and finds out why they want her- she's immune to the plague.  That's nice, but you can still be killed....
Getting out of a city full of unexplained zombies is not as easy as you might think.  The pair run, shoot and run some more as they try to get out.  Dacascos, being a military expert, wastes a grenade killing one zombie.  It sure would be nice to have when you face down that group of zombies later, huh?  They get out to the city limits by stealing a flat-top car, but the mercenaries from earlier show up.  Well, one of them does, anyways.  The guy shoots Marc several times and explains that he doesn't want to use her for the cure.  No, he just wants her to die in order for the plague to continue.  He says some crap about how the weak are dying and he likes it, but I really don't care.  By the way, two silly things happen.  One- Marc doesn't die from his numerous bullet wounds.  Two- the guy doesn't just kill the woman right there.  He does this, the movie has to have a proper ending.  The guy plays around with the corpse of his former partner until Dacascos shows up.  They have a fight and the bad guy dies.  Our heroes drive out of Los Angeles as all of the explosives that Dacascos set up earlier explode.  Nothing is really resolved,, The End.
I'd still rather have CG zombies!  The plot of this movie is dumb- plain and simple.  They barely explain any of the major events because, well, they expect you to have seen I Am Legend.  Even if they did explain it, it's pretty dumb.  I guess that I shouldn't expect any more than I don't.  The action is alright, but it's mostly just people shooting zombies.  Much like in Zombie Wars, there is a limit as to how much you can do that before I lose interest.  They mix in some decent martial arts from Dacascos, but it's not enough.  By the way, make note of how many re-used locations and shots are here.  Aside from the city shots and the barn, there is also a bit where a disheveled Dacascos gets drunk in the desert...which is where they set Princess of Mars.  Could you at least make it a little subtle guys?!?  You are just working off of the idea that nobody would be dumb enough to watch 24 of your movies, huh?  Actually, I can't blame you for thinking that.  There is more action overall in this movie than usual, so that's a plus.  Everything else is terrible though.
Up next, we get to the final Asylum film of the month.  This one is about the hunt for treasure held by Leonardo Da Vinci- it's a two-fer!  Stay tuned...


  1. I've seen this sadly, and although it is rightfully terrible, some part of me wants to believe it could have been even worse

  2. By Asylum standards, it only kind of sucks. There's at least enough action to cover up the paper-thin plot.

    The biggest thing: Sarah Lieving. I don't know why it is, but I just don't like her.