Terror Week: Loch Ness Terror

* Don't worry- I'll cover Dracula's Widow shortly *

Well, color me mostly-surprised!  This Sci-Fi/Syfy Channel film is actually pretty decent.  Mind you, I'm used to some seriously-shitty ones, so this is a relative compliment.  I'm used to really awkward effects- i.e. Piranhaconda- or flat-out awful ones- i.e. S.S. Doomtrooper.  These ones- not too shabby.  To be fair, it does have a silly plot, goofy writing and the usual character actors that you expect to see.  Brian Krause- come on down!  Don S. Davis- you know the drill!  Hell, even the Director- Paul Ziller- is the man behind Snakehead Terror, Solar Attack, Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon, Ba'al, Iron Invader and Stonehenge Apocalypse!  He even did Android Apocalypse, the film that dared to kill off Chris Jericho.  So why do I like this movie?  I don't know- I just do.  It's got some genuinely-interesting moments, decent effects and an overall good use of build-up.  A lot of the deaths are random- keeping Poor Bastards of Cinema able to run for at least a couple weeks straight- but it feels pretty natural overall.  I will say that one late-story twist makes the whole thing feel super-silly...which I'll get to later.  To see what is right and wrong about this film, read on...

In the cold open, a bunch of scientists discover a dinosaur egg.  On cue, the mother shows up and kills everyone, save for the young kid.  Cue modern day!

Somewhere over in obviously Canada, a lake monster is killing people.  No, not the crazy Uncle/Plot Device!

This creature attacks during the day, the night and even the day-for-night.  It's quite versatile.

Did I mention that it walks on land too?  Silly me.

Our hero- Brian Krause- is the son that survived the attack in the beginning.  As a Cryptozoologist, he comes packing heat!!!

The plot is split between Krause and the Sheriff chasing the big creature & her son trying to rescue some friends from the Island where the creature lives.  Dig those decent CG effects- slight shadows and all!

Here's where things get silly.  The Mother pops up through a tiny body of water- despite being 40 feet long- and we learn why it's personal.  This creature...is the same one that killed Krause's Dad.  Dun dun wait a minute!

You're telling me that the Loch Ness Monster traveled from Scotland to...wherever not in Canad this takes place?  Yeah, right.

Thankfully, our hero has super high-tech gadgets like a microwave gun- mind your genitals- and can help save the day.

He can't, however, save Don S. Davis who is randomly killed and his death never addressed.  No, really.

The climax involves our young hero trying to escape the long neck of the creature.  Will he make it?

Of course he will!  The pair of heroes manage to burn the thing with the microwave gun and then ignite some rocks around it, causing it to burn and eventually blow up.  The End.

Eventually, they had to make a couple decent films.  With the output of 'original' films and Asylum films, the Syfy Channel is a real hit-or-miss station.  Actually, it's a bit more like a hit-or-miss-miss-miss-miss-miss-miss station.  Regardless, this one is not really bad.  The plot is silly- yes.  The Acting is not that great, just sort of there.  That said, it builds up a killer monster, gives you decent effects and ultimately builds up to a good conclusion.  Aside from randomly killing off Don S. Davis, I can't complain too much.  Well, there is one moment, actually.  Don is sniping the babies- all four of them- and they show two dead ones, followed by a shot of him killing another one.  Minutes later, the two dead ones disappear from the shot and three of them kill Davis (before running over to Mama and dying).  So, yeah, that happened.  If you like this kind of Syfy fare, you'll be pleasantly-surprised by how decent this is, magically-disappearing dinosaur babies and all...

Next up, a movie that was made to market a Disney attraction.  I'm sure it's better than The Haunted Mansion, right?  Stay tuned...