Monday, July 30, 2012

Adrian Paul Week: Highlander- The Source

**Sorry about the lack of updates and slow work last week.  I'll work on that for this week.  Sorry, Alien Tracker and Nemesis Game**

Who wants to live forever...if you have to watch this crap.  Today's movie is Highlander: The Source.  Here's what you need to know (even if you know nothing about Highlander): there are Immortals.  They fight day in and day out to win 'The Prize.'  It's either Death, Mortality or the ability to have children (depending on the show/film).  After one good movie, they made a crap sequel that called the Immortals 'aliens' and was quickly hated.  Another sequel followed, with slightly-better results.  Around this time, they made a TV show of it, which introduced most people to Adrian Paul for the first time.  This was followed by Highlander: Endgame, an attempt to merge the show and movie universes together (unless you count pointless Connor McLeod appearances in the show), which resulted in more rule-breaking, silly plot twists and audience disdain.  For some freaking reason, they decided to come back to the show/movie universe one more time to 'wrap things up, while opening up new stories' (as they say in the Making Of Featurette).  Why not stop when you're already so far behind?!?  The plot jumps way ahead of Endgame and the show, immediately starting to alienate the fan-base.  They proceed to shit all over the Mythos (as opposed to the Methos) and slowly strip away everything that the fans loved.  To make things better, they barely explain the back-story and plot, leaving people that didn't watch the show (i.e. me) pretty in the dark.  The plot involves the search for the titular Source, which they think will...actually, they never really ask what it does.  Plot says go there, so, well, go there!  A new villain is here named The Guardian who, well, I'll get to him later.  To find out how horribly this goes awry (even by Highlander film standards), read on...
In classic 'bad movie fashion,' the DVD Menu tells you to *not watch* the movie.  Seriously, if you love the show/films, that image alone will make you want to eject the Disc!!!
In the near future of 'We Didn't Pick A Time,' the World is in shit.  It's so bad (in Bulgaria) that Duncan McLeod stalks the streets like Batman!
The Guardian- that blurry thing on the right- is who guards The Source.  He's a big, old pile of fail.  Silly look- white skin and armor-, silly motivations- leaving The Source, guard it- and he has a silly, super-speed power.

Yes, kill the a f@$%ing Highlander movie!
The Guardian is just an awful and silly character.  In the film's only Quickening scene, he shouts out 'The Quickening.'  Ugh.  In another scene, he yells out 'Hello, Joe'...while flying about 20 feet after being hit by Joe's truck.  Double ugh.
Our heroes go to this random Monastery and meet the fat Vampire from Blade...I mean, an original character who tells them where 'The Source' is.

He also explains that they will lose their Immortality as they approach The Source.  Wait- what?!?
In an amazingly-unsubtle moment, The Source finally decides to just rip away any recognizable aspects of the Mythos in one smooth move.  The Guardian breaks Duncan's iconic sword in half and stabs Joe Dawson- a longtime Supporting Character- with it, killing him.  Joy.
The movie makes sure to throw in a random fight scene with some 'cannibals.'  I'm sorry, but why does this happen?  Quota, you say?
Skipping some random crap, Duncan goes to The Source as the planets align (don't ask).  His lady friend is there,, symbolism, I guess.
Duncan beats The Guardian using his own cheesy, super-speed powers.  Instead of killing him, he chooses peace...which kills The Guardian.  Odd moral there.

In The End, he is given The Prize, which is the ability to have children.  Thus, the Highlander franchise ends (since this movie bombed) with the Space Baby from 2001: A Space Odyssey.  Joy.
Just cut my head off now, please!  The plot of this movie is stupid.  To begin with, it's just stupid.  They have to find the Immortal 'Holy Grail' in order to become mortals and gain fertility?  Congratulations, you're fighting an uphill battle to become a Quiver Full Member!  Second, this movie insults and tears apart every aspect of the Mythos.  Characters are either killed (Joe) or completely-wasted (Methos).  The story is designed to make everything you know before into a big lie.  Seriously, the point is that The Game is all a lie, or at least represented as something that it's not.  Methos and Duncan say this outright, so f#$! you, people that liked the previous films, show and other forms of media!  This was apparently designed to set up a whole bunch of new story-lines for films...but those never took place.  The series, instead, ends with the people behind Highlander: The Source telling you to go screw yourself.  Oh joy.  Here's a big problem: this movie doesn't explain any of the major characters/events all that well.  Who is Joe?  Who are The Watchers?  Who is Methos?  What is The Prize?  If you don't know, tough shit!  I'm here as a neophyte, but know people who have watched the show a lot, allowing me some context.  If you didn't, you'll struggle even more to care about this Duncan guy and wonder who the hell the Watchers are!  In summary, it's a shit movie that alienates the audience coming into it and makes sure that no new viewers can make sense of it.  Good riddance, even if you did randomly flash the audience...
Next up, I wrap up July with a Project Terrible film.  I hope you like bickering and bears.  Stay tuned...

1 comment:

  1. A Highlander: The Source haiku:

    He broke Duncan's sword
    And with it slew Joe Dawson
    This movie is shit

    You're absolutely right about that menu image. The moment I saw that I'd be thinking "Uh...wait...why would they show him with something other than his sword? Oh, no...what have they done?" I don't know if that would stop me from watching the film right there (assuming I had heard nothing else about it), but it would certainly give me a huge bad feeling about it...and yeah, I do tend to listen to my instincts on stuff like that.