Holiday Flix: Maryjane (1968)

I partake...in reviewing crappy Movies.  In this case, I'm doing one on 4/20, since the Internet is made up of children.  This is Maryjane, a 1968 Drama that wanted to talk to 'the kids these days.'  This is a bit less preachy and more nuanced than stuff like Marihuana or Reefer Madness.  It's still full of stuffy old men and women (but mostly men) talking about the kids and their drugs and their wild ways.  The tale is pretty stock, but at least plays with things a little bit to help the fatigue.  Is this a memorable tale or one to pass to the left?  To find out, read on...

In a Cold Open, some girl on drugs (so they say) hits a guy with her car and rolls it.  She hits him so hard that...

1) He bleeds a gallon of red paint
2) His hair changes from black to blonde!

The Football Coach/Art Teacher (Fabian) is fairly-new and just wants to help his Students.

To the Film's credit, they point out that the older Coach won't bench the jerk Student, since his friends would quit with him and ruin their Season.

Speaking of said Students, one has the hots for a girl and tries to join the group.  They make him steal for them, but he does at least return the stuff.

Fabian stands up for the kids and admits to smoking pot once when he was younger.  Who could ever do that and become, I don't know, President?

This leads to him being framed by the leader behind the gang of teens dealing Pot.

I highlight this bit in Holding to mention that this is both one of the Film's Writers and the winner for Worst Fake Beard I've Seen since Sleepaway Camp's tape mustache!

Oh and the kids pick on the Auto Mechanic/Fill-Up Station Owner in one bit (that reminded me of Zoolander).  He's Garry Marshall.

After some investigating and some luck, our Lead figures out who the leader is- his new Girlfriend!

This Story has no real resolution though, since...

The Film just sort of stops after Fabian leaves the lead kid with the Dealers to be, presumably, killed.  What a moral!

Not quite the buzzkill I was expecting.  Like I said, this is a bit less preachy and a bit more even-handed than I expected.  For instance, the one stuffy Adult says the bullshit fact about Pot being 'a gateway drug.'  When asked for a follow-up, he admits that 'no leading Scientist agrees,' but then says that 'but every heavy drug user we've seen started with Pot.'  They also drank coffee...and milk...and water.  My God- Water is the gateway drug to everything!!!!  So yeah, still a little bit of lying mixed in with some bitter honesty.  This is much more of a Drama than anything else, so its less funny for those looking for stuff like Reefer Madness' Piano Scene or stuff like that.  It is generally-well Acted and looks fine.  It's just dry, really.  It's the Wheat Bread of Drug Scare Films- not bad for you, but not that interesting either.  Partake or don't partake- your pick.  Just don't let the immediate buzzkill of a famously-dead Distribution Studio ruin things for you...

Basic stuff that is only elevated by the dated Music and fashion.  On the plus side, it is randomly-dark at the End, so that's something.