Another one of these- why not?!? I have 12 of these and I am going to watch all of them- dammit. Today's Film is Fit to Kill, a Title seemingly chosen at random. It doesn't have a thing to do with the Plot. I'll explain what it means later- just because I'm an asshole. The Plot is the finale of the Kane Trilogy- inside of the L.E.T.H.A.L. Series- and wraps up his Arc in a kind of silly way. According to IMDB, this was meant to be the final Film in that one too...but I've got like 4 more. This is also the final Film EVER for Dona Speir as, well, Donna. She had a kid and stopped being in anything, so, I guess, good for her. Thankfully, it was THIS Film as her last and not the previous one. The Story involves a Russian Diamond, a Nazi Plot during WWII, a Chinese Billionaire, lots of shooting and even a Gerald Okamura Cameo. As a bonus, Rodrigo Obregon gets to try out a new Ethnicity- neat. I need to do this one before the mish-mash of L.E.T.H.A.L. Plots get jumbled any more in my head, so let's see what happened...
So here's the Plot: a Chinese guy was given a Russian Diamond from a dying Nazi that was stolen during WWII. He wants to give it back, but Kane wants to steal it.
That all seems simple enough...so it will get much more complicated later.
Julie Strain appears as an Assassin working for an until-now-unseen rival of Kane. She goes from trying to kill him to working for him in like one hour of real-time.
Kane hatches a complex plan involving a fake I.D., knocking out Donna, having the diamond stolen and flown away in a toy helicopter (a rival one!) and having HIMSELF knocked out to push suspicion off of himself.
Oh and Strain is doing something conspicuous as well.
There are two things to note about this one: Random Filler and PG-13 Sex Scenes. They make the Film reach 80+ minutes.
Example #1: Wasting a bunch of time on a 'comedy' bit with recurring henchmen that just ends in an explosion and 'humor.'
Example #2: Both Kane and Strain (great Tag Team name!) celebrate the heist with their respective partners. After a random Dialog Scene, two of the Agents proceed to have a 'shag' as well! It has only been like 2 minutes between them- tops!
A rather pointless Sub-Plot has the always-in-lingerie DJ tell the Russian Ambassador that she likes tough guys. In response, he has his Bodyguard pretend to be an attacker and then he 'fends' him off.
After the- of course it is here- Sex Scene, she finds out the truth...and is apparently not bothered by the sort-of-Rape!
Back in the real Plot, we meet the rival- Po- who actually had Strain on his side the whole time. Her failed assassination was all planned AND the diamond stolen was also a fake.
Meanwhile, the Double Agent with Kane continues to do nothing AND Donna is captured.
They all meet up with the Billionaire, who is now trying to sell the REAL Diamond to Po, who is pretending to be a Chinese Government Agent. When his obvious ruse is foiled, shooting and death ensues.
It is a battle of the toy helicopters! Our Heroes win AND blow up the Yacht with a single, tiny rocket. Of course they do!
In the aftermath, Kane has escaped and the Double Agent is still with him...for some reason.
However, we get Kane 'Redemption' Arc as we learn that his Dad was a Nazi killed by the guy who gave the Diamond to the Billionaire. He just wanted to be rich to get revenge, so him briefly being Pat Morita and trying to kill them is A-Okay. The End.
More silliness and more explosions. This one continues the trend of mixing pointless Sex Scenes, shoot-outs and 'Comedy' into one strange package. It adds a new layer of silly though: Dream Sequences. At one point, the Boss is taking pictures of his lady and suddenly imagines this to be a sexy Indoor Photo Shoot. That will burn 3 minutes of Screen Time. After their capture, we see Kane fantasizing about Donna in an even longer bit. Fun Fact: Kane was played by R.J. Moore, the son of the now-late Roger Moore. I legitimately had no idea until this Morning, but it does explain why they kept putting him in a Tuxedo. As always, the Plot is just a mess. Between the Comedy, Sex and Filler- including a bit where the tracking device necklace is stolen from a Pawn Shop and then returned-, the actual Story is rushed. How do you have too much Plot and not enough Plot? Kane's whole Arc is not helped by the change in Actors. Even if he was Moore the whole time, I fail to see how him becoming a Criminal Mastermind to get revenge on a Billionaire makes him alright. It just doesn't. If you've seen a Sidaris Film, you will have seen *most* of what this has to offer. I guess I can't expect much more at this point. So long, Donna/Dona...
Our Agents are on a Paintball Tag Mission, but only after Donna and friend lounge in a bikini. They also set up an attack helicopter, since Andy must have had stock in some Company that made them!
That all seems simple enough...so it will get much more complicated later.
Oh and Strain is doing something conspicuous as well.
Example #1: Wasting a bunch of time on a 'comedy' bit with recurring henchmen that just ends in an explosion and 'humor.'
Example #2: Both Kane and Strain (great Tag Team name!) celebrate the heist with their respective partners. After a random Dialog Scene, two of the Agents proceed to have a 'shag' as well! It has only been like 2 minutes between them- tops!
After the- of course it is here- Sex Scene, she finds out the truth...and is apparently not bothered by the sort-of-Rape!
Meanwhile, the Double Agent with Kane continues to do nothing AND Donna is captured.
It is a battle of the toy helicopters! Our Heroes win AND blow up the Yacht with a single, tiny rocket. Of course they do!
However, we get Kane 'Redemption' Arc as we learn that his Dad was a Nazi killed by the guy who gave the Diamond to the Billionaire. He just wanted to be rich to get revenge, so him briefly being Pat Morita and trying to kill them is A-Okay. The End.
Next time, I continue to find more random stuff to watch. I'll give you something good! Stay tuned...
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