Friday, April 29, 2016

New Import Flix: Jeruzalem (2015) {SPOILER Version}

If you didn't get enough from the SPOILER-Free Version, this one allows me more freedom to explain all of the ridiculous stuff.  You were warned, so no bitching.  Deal?

Alright, now I have free reign.  Today's Film is Jeruzalem, a 2015 Found Footage Film made in and set in Israel.  You'd think that they'd be able to spell the City's name right then!  I kid, I kid.  I guess they were going for the whole World War Z thing...although it is hardly topical in 2015, right?  They are either too late to be topical or too early to be topical for the Sequel.  That's still happening, right?  This Story involves a young woman and her friend going to The Holy Land on Vacation.  Once there, they change their itinerary when they meet a guy.  This brings them to a place they won't want to be later when all Hell, somewhat literally, breaks loose.  This is Found Footage, so everything you expect is here.  Cutting away, annoying POV, pointless jump scares- the usual.  The Film has some new tricks to play, although they are mostly just the same tricks repackaged.  There's not much new here if you really think about it, which is kind of a shame.  They did replace the Camera with Smart Glass, so...2015?  As mentioned above and in the Title, this is the Review to see if you want SPOILERS.  I have to give them, since, well, I can't tell you the stupid stuff very well otherwise.  To find out more, read on..
Back in the 1970s, a lady returned from the dead, failed to be exercised by all 3 Religious Groups and was then killed.  Thankfully, someone was there with a 25-lb camera to film it!
In the Present, a young Jewish-American girl is given Smart Glass by her Dad before her trip to Israel.  This...this is your view now, folks.
They go to Jerusalem when they meet some guy who insists.  After some filler...I mean, a few days, he shows her some footage he found on the Vatican Darknet.  I've now used that expression twice.
So here is where the SPOILER stuff comes in.  You were warned...

Everyone is suddenly being rushed out as chaos ensues.  Our Heroine goes INTO AN ASYLUM to break out the guy and sees what is going on- freaky Demon People!
Oh and there's also a giant Golem/Demon/whatever in the City.  Much like Cloverfield, the Filmmakers aren't interested in showing you much of that, so enjoy cheap (both Budget and writing-wise) scares instead.
To keep the Cloverfield thing going, they eventually go into some Tunnels.

Oh and they take the shot from you-know-what...although it doesn't actually close out the Film.
Borrowing from REC 2 now, we have 'Zombie Rules' for Demonic Possession with bites/scratches turning you into a Demon-thing.  It may be a stretch, but the 'person killing themselves to stop the transformation' bit was in Diary of the Dead...so I'm counting that too.
As the Film comes to a close, our heroine transforms, with her POV saving the Film a few stacks by not showing the effect.

Borrowing a little from Chronicle, she, now transformed, flies off as a creature to, well, end the World...or something.  The End.
Despite how it appears, nothing much has changed.  As stated, this is basically a mish-mash of stuff from previous Found Footage Films with a slight polish, but not much more.  The setting is Israel, which gives you some translation issues and 'fish out of water' stuff.  This could easily be anywhere though, be it Madrid, Paris or Tokyo.  The subbing of Smart Glass for the Camera adds some minor differences, but not much overall.  Note to Filmmakers- don't make this into a thing now.  The biggest draw or detriment to these kinds of Films is the Lead.  She has some good moments, but tends to break down pretty easily.  She goes right to yelling or crying way too easily.  Insert sexist joke here.  I'm not going to say that the Film doesn't do some of the cliche moments right or anything- they just indulge in them too much.  It is hard to avoid a sense of familiarity, that's all.  If a Film is good enough, I can give it more of a pass.  In this case, the Film just isn't.  The Pacing is all over the map, the good moments are too spaced out and it just too damn generic.  What do you think, never quite in frame Giant Demon?
Next up, some more mystery stuff.  Let's see if it can get stranger than this one.  Stay tuned...

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