Monday, March 14, 2016

International 80s Trash: Cemetery of Terror (1985)

Viva los crap!  Pardon my terrible, partial Spanish, but I'm reviewing a Mexican Film.  I can't be bothered to use full Spanish, however, since the Film was shot in Texas.  Today's Film is Cemetery of Terror aka Zombie Apocalypse, a 1985 Horror Film by the maker of, well, Cemetery of Terror.  Yes, he made more Films, but...I haven't seen any of them.  This is not to be confused with the Films Zombie Apocalypse OR The Zombie Apocalypse.  Instead, this is an odd mish-mash of Halloween, Silent Rage, The Evil Dead, CHUD II and a bunch of other Films.  Yes, even though that last Film was made later, I'm still including it.  When a vicious killer is killed, he finds a second life as a Zombie.  That would explain Michael Meyers being inexplicably-immortal in the first Halloween, wouldn't it?  Don't even get me started on that Cult of Thorn crap!  Is this even close to being as good as one of those Films?  Well, maybe Halloween: Resurrection, but that's a low bar.  To find out, read on...
In the opening Scene, an unseen killer attacks a woman in a Hotel.  He is killed by the Police.
Somehow, this gets the attention of Hugo Stiglitz (the Actor, not the Character) who was his Therapist.  He wants them to make sure that the body is cremated.
At the same time, we have Horror Cliche #26- a group of young people going to party in a Haunted House.  What could go wrong?
Unfortunately, some youths decide to steal his body...for some reason.  What a...prank?
Get this- these kids go out on Halloween and to a Cemetery.  They stop a random person in a Van and get a ride from them!

The actual killer may be the least of your concern, kids!
The same jerks who steal the body then proceed to do a Ceremony to revive the dead via a Book clearly based on the Necronomicon.  I have to ask- why?  Seriously, why do you do that, even as a 'joke?'
This revives the Killer, who proceeds to wipe out all of the 'teens' at the 'Haunted' House in Friday the 13th-like fashion.  We even get to hear a kind-of, sort-of Version of the Voorhees' Theme!
In Plot B (since Plot A is now just corpses), the kids at the Cemetery are attacked by Zombies.  Accidental Satanism, Immortal Killers, Resurrection and now Zombies?  Yeesh.
To both create and kill the Drama, they build Act 3 all about the kids in peril, with Stiglitz tagging along.

Yeah, even Mexican Horror Films won't dare kill the kids!
The Book is seemingly-destroyed and the evil ended...until the Thriller-like finale that literally everyone will have seen coming.  The End.
Damn silly.  Damn ridiculous.  Damn stupid.  That said, it can be kind of fun in an over-the-top way.  This Film rips off/is inspired by a host of Films that are hard to miss.  Their killer- a mix of Jason Voorhees (still a young killer in 1985) and Michael Meyers (stuck in Film Limbo in 1985).  Their evil book- The Evil Dead's Necronomicon.  Their Zombies- well, I can't narrow that down to one Film, can I?  The whole thing is just big, broad and ridiculous.  If you like that kind of stuff, it will work for you.  It isn't completely derivative, but just mostly.  It is what you expect out of Foreign Horror from the 1980s though, so no surprises there.  I'll leave you with a shot of a man who didn't realize that he was in a Horror Film.  He's easy to spot in the group...
Next up, Mondo Bizarro (Cinema) celebrates 3,000 Posts!  To do so, let's go back to look at the most successful Film you've never heard of.  Stay tuned...

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