Saturday, July 4, 2015

Holiday Flix: The Marine 4- Moving Target

As an American, I have the right to watch subpar Direct-to-Video Sequels!  God Bless America!  Today's Film is The Marine 4: Moving Target, which is different from that last Film where he just stood still.  All kidding aside (for the moment), this is a momentous event.  It is the first Marine Sequel to have the same Actor back!  In the first 3 Films, you had John Cena (the one actually in Theaters), then Ted DiBiase Jr and then The Miz.  It was supposed to be Randy Orton, but he was an actual Marine...who tried to go AWOL and was Discharged Without Honor.  Don't worry, he got a different Cena-less Sequel to do: 12 Rounds 2 (still an awkward Title right?).  In this Film, The Miz returns from Afghanistan (not shown- since there are no Deserts in Canada) and gets a Security Job for a Government Witness.  Things quickly go awry know the rest.  There's nothing all that unique or exciting here, so I decided to make the Review Caps up entirely of Miz Face.  Consider it my present to you, Bob.  To find out about this Film serving with honor in your Redbox Kiosks, read on...
After some cheesy Credits showing us random military slang (like Semper Fi) and literally just listing famous Battles, we see Miz getting ready for his new job.
He gets a job guarding a Witness for the Department of Defense, who is being transported through (what looks like) Forks, Washington for no clear reason.

If she has to meet the Attorney General, wouldn't he be in Washington, D.C.?  You're on the wrong side of the Country!
After less than 10 minutes of Character Set-Up, an Action Scene breaks out (that they stole from A Clear and Present Danger)!  The Miz escapes with the lady Witness into the Woods.
As things progress, The Miz doesn't know who he can trust.  Likewise, the Witness must trust him.
Things end up in a Police Station shoot-out (a la Assault on Precinct 13), but no Poor Bastards of Cinema here.  They were Cops who died in the line of duty, after all.
Things end up back in the Woods (since Washington is like 80% Woods in Films) and he sets traps a la First Blood.
To give you a break from The Miz's mug, here is a punch that misses by a 'country mile' that they left in.  America!
Who will live and who will die?  Okay, you know how this goes, but still no SPOILERS.  The End.
This is...nothing special.  Here's a thing I don't get: you hire a Pro-Wrestler, but only have a handful of actual Fight Scenes.  The bulk of the Action is just shooting in corridors, shooting outside and shooting outside in the Woods.  Anyone can do that.  Steven Seagal does that!  Give me like 2 Weeks of Military Training and Gun Safety Practice and I can grimace while shooting.  That said, the handful of Fight Scenes you get are pretty good and they aren't one-sided Seagal-style beatdowns.  They even let The Miz finish off a guy with (one-half) of a Finishing Move he uses.  I was hoping for a Skull Crushing Finale onto a spike or something, but I guess that will do.  The Acting is alright.  Miz here can't really emote too well and his Co-Star alternates between Bitchy and Terrified.  The villain- Vogel- is portrayed pretty-well, but he's ultimately a one-note Heavy.  The Script is not terrible, but jumps right into the Action and never really establishes the Characters.  They make sure to have The Miz name-drop 9/11- bonus!  The whole thing is just an uninspired Action Film with some decent moments, but it does nothing to stand out amongst the 15,002 of these kinds of Films released every year.  How many Sniper Films are we up to now again?  Let's give equal time now.  What did you think of my Review, Miz?
Next up, Bob gives me a Present in the form of Reviewing a Film I picked for him.  He's got his first Werner Herzog Film, so this should be interesting.  Stay tuned... 

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