Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Millenial Trash: Intercessor- Another Rock & Roll Nightmare

After the piece of crap that was Rock & Roll Nightmare, I did not set my hopes high for the sequel.  For starters, it was produced by and still starring Jon Mikl-Thor.  To make matters worse, the film was made in 2005- 18 years after the original!  Was the story so dramatic that it took them nearly two decades to get this thing done?  Was it a massive undertaking that just took so long to get right?  Was it a director's vision that took many years for the technology to catch up to a la Avatar?  Uh, no.  There's really no good reason for this movie taking so long to come out.  Given that the film turned out so shitty, I'm not complaining!  The film features the return of Thor as The Intercessor...if any of you care.  Break out your plastic guitar for my review of....
Okay, truth time- I could not finish this movie.  After about 35 minutes, I could take no more.  To make up for it, here's a photo-collage of what you did not miss.
Seriously, this movie sucks.  It sucks long, hard and regularly.  The whole premise is sort of vague and even as simple as it is, it still makes no sense.  It has something to do with some demons trying to take over the world and The Intercessor showing up to stop them.  It's nice of them to retcon the guy's appearance to accommodate the fact that Thor is not exactly a body-builder anymore.  The acting is...well, how bad do you think it is?  Whatever your assumption is, I can assure you that it is far worse than that.  The special effects are...well, just look at those pictures above!  Hell, look at the picture underneath this paragraph!  I don't know what else to say about this.  Nothing good happens, so why waste any more time here?  It sucks and you shouldn't see it.  The End.
Next up, I break my own rules and try to watch a Troma series.  This one involves mutations, 'teenagers' and lots of pain for me!  Stay tuned...


  1. Hole. E. Crap. I spit out my Crispix looking at those pics, and thats a cardinal sin in my household! No Crispix must be wasted, EVER!!1 Theres no way anything this awesomely terrible exists, therefore you sir, are a liar.


    Never doubt me again! If I don't have respect from my peers, what else do I have?

    Oh yeah, I've got my own web-page. Cool.