Friday, December 15, 2017

My Crazy Youth: The Time that 'Inhumanoids' Did a Whole Season in 20 Minutes!

Arguably the craziest Episode in the Series.  Considering that the core premise is that giant monsters live in the Earth and want to take over, that is saying a lot!

Inhumanoids- as a refresher- is a crazy '80s Cartoon about Earth Core (not EDF) battling the titular Beasts that have been awoken after thousands of years in captivity.  They've built up a number of Storylines throughout, which makes the Show stand out for a bit.

Want to watch 3 random Episodes of G.I. Joe or He-Man- no problem.  Continuity is loose.
Want to watch 3 random Episodes of Inhumanoids- you'll be a little lost.

So, with that in mind, here is my Summary of the Season (and Series, sadly) Finale...
As noted above, the Show had long (for the time) continuity.  So here's what you need to know...

Senator Masterson led a team to rescue the Statue of Liberty from Metlar (the red guy below).  Long story- we'll cover it separately.  He's been running for President on that feat...but nothing else.

Being battered in the Polls, he's approached by the Inhumanoids (and their human proxy) to do what they want in exchange for them taking out his rivals.  He agrees.  They do.

Left at base alone, Auger (one of Earth Core) goes to the next Debate (now with just Masterson) and decides to run for President.  His qualifications- "I used to be a Boxer.  Now I'm a member of Earth Core!"
That was all in SEVEN MINUTES!

To continue, another Inhumanoid- D'Compose- shows up and feigns fear of Masterson to help him win.  I'd like to think that this giant was just lurking underground waiting for Auger's unannounced arrival!

Jump cut to Election Day and...Auger wins!  Hey, at least this unqualified guy did serve!

He's immediately kidnapped by the Inhumanoids.
We've now reached the 12 minute mark.  Keep going!

Earth Core and its allies- which includes Tree Men and Rock People- assemble to save the President-Elect!  This includes a guy who was injured back in Episode 10 and obviously set up for a big moment here.

Cue epic battle.  Skeleton Warriors!  Bat Creatures!  Lizard Slug Alien Things!  Killer Statues!
We've still got 5 minutes!

Longtime enemy Blackthorn Shaw (great name!) shows up to save the Inhumanoids, but is partly-stopped by Tank- an ally established back in Episode 7 and not seen since Episode 8!- before he can end the day.

Right on cue, the giant crossbow that Auger was tied (while inside a man-sized glass bottle) to that would shoot him at the Earth's Molten Core (naturally!) fires and he's...saved by the new guy.

As the team recounts what happened, Auger- now in suit for no reason- decides that he doesn't want to be President anymore.  He wasn't even sworn in!

Thus ends the Show in all its insane glory.
Holy crap!  Was that not WAY more than 1 Episode should do?  My best guess- they didn't feel sure of a second Season- good call- and just did something big and bold to end the Show.  If they had been more confident, I would think that they would have set up this Plot, but let it simmer.  As noted, the Show was not just a bunch of one-offs, so this could have been possible.  Have Auger balance running for President while battling the Inhumanoids.  Lead up to the end of Season 2 with this and there's a second finale.  I should note that I'm not even counting a brief Sub-Plot where one of them is now a Commercial Celebrity, which includes a fake Commercial in-universe.  This is the kind of crazy that I love.  Go out with a bang, you crazy bastards!
Easily the most insane, but also somewhat-built-up 22 minutes of your life (with credits).  Where is someone other than Michael Bay to make this into a Film Series?!?

No comments:

Post a Comment