Saturday, June 25, 2016

Rare Flix: The Beasts Are On The Streets (1978)

Okay, who put PCP in the water this time?!?  Today's Film is The Beasts Are On The Streets, a 1978 TV Movie about Animals on the loose.  That must be a common problem with as many of these Films as there are!  On the plus side, they don't shoot a Jaguar in this one.  The Film tells the tale of an accident that frees the Animals at a nearby Park.  Note to everyone: don't build your Animal Park next to the L.A. Freeway!  It also must be a good idea to section off your Animals better.  This one is apparently quite hard to find- unless you know which corner of the Internet to look.  It is that same corner where you find stuff like Whatever Happened to Rosemary's Baby? or that awful Clerks TV Pilot.  Interesting Cast Notes include alumni from Blazing Saddles and a future 80s TV Star.  Can the Animals be brought back without harm?  Can the local populace survive?  Can the B-Plot of our lovelorn couple come to a happy ending?  To find out, read on...
The TV Station want you to know that no Animals were harmed, yo!  Of course, that's not *quite* what they say, is it?
In California, an outdoor Animal Park is letting people see Animals up close.  Their Tour Guide: The other guy from Miami Vice!
On the adjacent Highway (who allowed this?!?), some Hunters are being dicks.  Weren't you Slim Pickens' sidekick?
Their asshole actions (and the Driver's nearsightedness) leads to him crashing into the fence, thus freeing the Animals!
You gotta love the fact that the Llamas, Zebras and Camels were all in the same open area!
The people are now stuck in their Cars with all of the Animals wandering around  This guy decides to look around for help and this happens...
It is important to remember that thing at the beginning when Scenes like this happen...
As night falls, many Animals are still loose.  Asshole Hunter forces his oddly-old-looking Teenager to help him go hunt...and shoot him...after his friend died.
Since this is a TV Movie, everything ends well.  Nearly all of the Animals are returned safely and only a few people got mauled.

Oh and our forgettable Leads end up together.  Hurray!
Much less insane than its Italian 'counterpart.'  This Film is all about people and Animals.  In this case, it is all about how we are scared of them, but maybe...should.  I think the message was that we shouldn't be, but pretty much 90% of the Film disputes that.  The Characters even tell people to be scared of, be careful around them.  They're right and all, know,..consistency.  Later in the Film, we get the Subplot of the Lioness looking for her cub, which is actually quite nice.  Why the Lioness knocks over a bunch of bird cages in the process is anyone's guess.  So obviously the big difference between this and Wild Beasts is the body count.  That one was much more of a Horror/Slasher Film, whereas this one is more of a vague Thriller.  No Dancing Zombies though.  The whole thing is constantly stuttered by a Subplot involving the Park Ranger, a Doctor and her Daughter.  They mildly-fight all the time and he plans to leave for Africa at the end of the week.  She does too...but just didn't tell him, since he never bothered to ask.  Oh well- they end up together.  Ultimately, this is a pretty fun Film, but its Plot never quite reaches its potential.  It did feature people trying to paddle boat away from a Bear though, so 6 Stars!  It also features one of the few times you get to see the Animal Trainer on-screen in one of these things...
Next up, more random stuff to keep me busy.  It is either review Films or go people hunting again.  Stay tuned...

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