Sunday, June 19, 2016

Father's Dei: Invisible Dad

After a month of sitting on this one, it is good to exhale!  Today's Film is Invisible Dad, a 1998 Comedy that I...accidentally rented way too early.  I'd considered this before, but couldn't get it out of Very Long Wait (mostly because there is probably like 5 copies of this left) in time.  This time, I put in my Queue back in May it right away. Dammit?  Rather than keep this in my House for that long (even though I've *owned* far worse Films for Years), I watched it right away and just saved the Pics.  Thankfully, my general disdain for the Film has held as well.  It isn't really, truly terrible, but it is the kind of stuff that was deemed 'safe' Family Entertainment when I was younger.  Like 2 Decades later, I still can't believe that we couldn't watch Spaceballs on a trip(since they said 'assholes'), but we could watch My Dog Skip (which was TWO Scenes of a Dog being attacked).  Logic!  We also watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, which has the Leads kidnap 7 women and hold them against their will...but its alright since they fell in love with the men during that time.  Bill Cosby is more romantic than you guys!  Speaking of famous Dads, this Story involves a kid with a magical machine, corporate espionage (yea?) and rare Treasure Hunters.  It also has Ross Hagen.  It is also good to see a Kid's Film from the Director of Bikini Hoe-Down, Illicit Dreams 2 and Bikini Drive-In- all Films he Directed under pseudonyms right around the same time as this one.  To find out just how silly and bad this whole thing can be, read on...
This kid has the usual 90s Kid Movies Problems- No Mom, Dad moves around all the time and that Dad is always working.

You may laugh, but many of you had that haircut back then...
Their new House has some crazy Inventor's old stuff in it, which the Computer-loving son loves.
In the Garage, he finds a device that grants your wishes...if you say them into a wired headset.  Instead of wishing for Bluetooth about 5 years early, he wishes for stuff like Ice Cream Actress from a Baywatch-like Show to be teleported into his Room (against her will).

Baywatch- nothing about this Film is dated!
The Dad gets on him about not doing housework and tells him to take apart the machine.  Before that happens, the kid wishes to 'not see him for awhile' leading to him turning invisible.

Yes, they took a MAGIC WISH MACHINE just to set up the Invisibility.  Was a Formula too cliche?
In Kid's Film Plot Thread #17, the single Dad is hooked up with the kid's Teacher.  She takes the news well.
 The crux of the Plot comes down to the Scientist's buddy coming to help fix the machine.  Hey, it is the Sheriff from Curse of the Puppet Master!
 Despite being only about 80 minutes, the Film feels like it goes on forever.  Let me rush to the end...

The Evil Contractor Sub-Plot ends when the Boss (Karen Black!) learns that his bricks are fake.
The Evil Guys Want to Steal the Machine Sub-Plot ends with...this.
The Dad is restored, him and the Teacher are a couple and the good Scientist...uses the Machine to kidnap the Actress from Not Baywatch again.  Hurray?  The End.
Contrived and routine stuff.  In a time when Pixar was making Films that were more than just Kids Films, leave it to Fred Olen Ray to return the status quo.  This is really obvious stuff.  The Invisible Dad parts are just the set-up for obvious gags like kicking a guy in the butt, knocking food into people's face and all of that kind of stuff.  Even in 1998, this was pretty dated stuff.  It would have almost been less dated if they had just stopped to do Who's On First? instead!  It is still hard to get past the idea that they introduce a WISH GRANTING MACHINE and do so little with it.  An Adolescent Boy can't do anything better than wishing for Ice Cream, to meet an Actress and to ask Sam Spade to help him write a Book Report?!?  There are good Movies- those that deep, serious and/or insightful.  There are 'Popcorn Movies'- those that are pure fluff, but fun nonetheless.  Somewhere below that is the kind of Film that doesn't try to be deep, serious or insightful & isn't that fun nonetheless either.  This is a Spam Film- it isn't tasty or interesting, but it is technically a Film.  It does give me an attempt to make this Meme happen though...
Damn silly and contrived stuff.  Kids of the 90s got some good stuff...but this isn't one of those Films.

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