Danny Trejo Week: On Bloody Sunday

Are you ready for some disappointment?  This film was included for Danny Trejo Week because he's in it.  Unfortunately, he's not in it a lot.  What I'm left with is a low-budget, generic Slasher Film.  It includes elements that I'm not that fond of as well to boot like a dose of Torture Porn.  Despite the title, I can't seem to muster up all that much interest.  In fact, I don't know if I can even be bothered to finish this sent...

As a teenager goes for a night of partying, her mother stops to tell her a story.  I hope you like to hear about murder, honey...

Where's Danny Trejo?  He plays a guy running an MMA fight...in a Parking Lot.  Stop using the sets from Subterano.

Oh yeah, Trejo's character is utterly-pointless and does nothing.  Thanks, false advertising!

In spite of no Trejo, I'll try to muster on for you.  A masked killer quotes the Bible and tortures people.  I guess the 'Love They Neighbor' part was glossed over.

Ken Davitian aka 'The Produce'r from Borat has a pointless cameo as well.  He, at least, has lines.  His character is the Uncle of the Final Guy.  He bitches and moans...and vanishes after this one scene.

On the plus side, he was aware that he was in a Movie.

There's a Cop character who shows up offering to help.  Our heroine, however, decides to be a bitch and horde her evidence.

Why the hell did you do that, exactly?!?!?  It's your attitude that gets more people killed!!!

The killer kidnaps our heroine, something that could have been avoided if she worked with the Cop.  I'm just saying...

After a bunch of people die or get wounded, our heroine does the Empowered Victim Trope and kills the Villain.  All of her friends are dead (because she was a bitch), but whatever.  Stupid wrap-up time...

Back in the present- that story is only shorter than the one making up How I Met Your Mother!!!- the girl leaves and we see that Final Girl and Final Guy are married.  As it turns out, he was evil.

This has no bearing on anything- especially with this being nearly 20 years later- and was obvious about thirty minutes in, but whatever.  The End.

Who's the guy you were doing a favor for, Danny?  This movie has a super-tiny budget...and it shows.  The Sets are cheap locations to use- see the Parking Garage- or just generic- Hello, Producer's house!  The plot is, well, pretty damn bare.  A teenage reporter and friend try to solve a bunch of murders...and not help the Police, since they want the credit.  Seriously, there is no other clear reason.  I should also mention that most of this cast looks far too old to be playing High School Students here.  I thought that this was about the Parents of some kids solving the crime at first- no lie!  Here's a thought- make them be in College and disarm that obvious, glaring issue.  Aside from that, you have weird stuff like three victims being taken at one time...somehow and being killed separately on different nights.  Where are the others, especially given that the villain(s) do all of the killings in a tiny shack?!?  If you can ignore these plot-holes and general cheapness of the whole thing, it's not without some value.  For example, you get to see this...

Next up, a horror anthology film which features Trejo.  With Snoop Dogg on board, I'm sure that this will be awesome!  Stay tuned...