Thursday, May 12, 2016

What's the Best Film?!?: Forgotten DC Properties

After covering some Marvel Films that get no love (or much in the way of follow-up), it is only fair to give DC the same treatment.

While many hits are connected to Warner Bros and DC, there are some misfires (be them creative or financial).  As much as I want to talk about stuff like Supergirl again, I have other fish to fry here.  This is the battle...

Steel vs. Constantine vs. Jonah Hex
This is a battle of Technology vs Magic vs some weird mix of both.  Let's see who comes out alive (but still without a Sequel)...
 The Lead
In one corner, Shaquille O'Neal playing a Scientist- right.  In another corner, the confusingly-biracial Keanu Reeves playing a Detective/Spiritualist.  In the final corner, Josh Brolin as an undead Soldier/Cowboy.

It is clear who is NOT winning this round, but the actual winner is tougher.  I'm going with...
The Winner: Jonah Hex
 The Villain
Is it redemption time for Steel?  No, because they have Judd Nelson as their Villain.  Tilda Swinton is up to bat for Constantine, while they always quirky John Malkovich (of Being fame) is with Jonah Hex.

Who will emerge victorious?  I'm gonna go with...
The Winner: Constantine
The Supporting Cast
Steel may actually have a chance this time, since they have a wheelchair-bound Hispanic Scientist.  Up against her is Shia LaBeouf and Rachel Weisz for Constantine and Megan Fox and Will Arnett (who'd reunite for the Ninja Turtles Film!) for Jonah Hex.

By virtue of not having any Transformers Cast Members, I pick...
The Winner: Steel
The Story
With a tie so far, let's see what happens!

In Steel, Shaq is a Scientist who must use his inventions for good to save his neighborhood.  In Constantine, Keanu must teach a twin about the dark world to save both of their souls.  In Jonah Hex, Josh is brought back with dark magic & must simultaneously get revenge and save the President.

While I love a Neveldine/Taylor Script, I have to go with...
The Winner: Constantine 
The Big Action Scene
Steel features some so-so action and a silly weapon he designed in a battle.  Constantine uses a holy shotgun of sorts to shoot Demons in his big Scene.  Jonah Hex features a crossbow that fires dynamite, but mostly just mindless explosions in the dark for its climax.

This one is a surprisingly-easy pick for me...
The Winner: Constantine

Well, it is 3-1-1, so your winner is Constantine!  It got a TV Series and a back-door way into the Berlanti TV Universe...10 years later, so I guess it really did win out.  Let's see what it made out of the competition...
If there is any doubt to the validity of my Voting here, consider this- you can't rent Steel on Netflix!!!

 Seriously, I just checked.  To put that into perspective, you can still rent Raped by an Angel AND Raped by an Angel 2: The Uniform Fan on Netflix.


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