Thursday, July 17, 2014

Moon Over Miami: Josh Kirby...Time Warrior- Eggs From 70 Million B.C.

This Story about Time Travel is taking a long time to tell!  It is no secret- I have not been in a hurry to cover this Series.  In the old days (of 2011), I probably would have powered through them all in a week- a month, tops.  Now- I'm in no rush.  All kidding aside, this is an interesting Film Experiment, if nothing else.  A Six-Chapter tale about some people I don't know saving the Universe is not something Full Moon has done often (if ever again).  They are no strangers to Sequels (of which I've reviewed about 603), but not one continuous narrative.  For example, if you watch Killjoy and Killjoy 3, but miss Killjoy 2, you'll be fine.  In other cases (like the Demonic Toys series), it is even more confusing than that.  You get two films, but with two possibly-not-Canon films (Dollman vs. Demonic Toys and Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys) stuck in-between them.  The closest thing would either be the Trancers or Subspecies series', but those either had shifting continuity (Trancers 2-6) or took odd leaps (Vampire Journals being before Subspecies III, for one) throughout.  If you're new, Josh Kirby...Time Warrior tells the tale of Not Dr. Who trying to collect the five pieces of a Deus Ex Machina that Not The Master wants, with Josh and Not Leela along for the ride.  As I noted in at least one previous Chapter Review, this Story is quite similar to The Key to Time, a story that ran on Doctor Who in 1978 with Tom Baker.  In fact, the first Chapter of that Story also takes place in a Medieval Time!  In this Chapter. Josh is learning how to use his new powers, but the gang runs into a snag, dragging them into a surprisingly-personal War on an alien planet.  To see how I power through this second half, read on...
The trio (and that stupid alien doll thing) are being chased by the evil Not The Master guy.  They manage to get him hit by...a Time Train (or something) and he appears to be dead.  However...
They discover Eggs on their ship.  They quickly hatch into these....arguably-cute worm things that clearly have no downside to them whatsoever.
As it turns out, they eat metal and cause the time-ship to crash.  They end up on an alien World.

Said World is the home planet of Not Leela!  What a twist!
The Leader is kind of a dick, which is somewhat understandable given the long, drawn-out occupation/conquering of his planet.  Even so, he reminds me alot of former-Raw GM Brad Maddox.

Incidentally, this Actor was in a film you saw- he played 'Annoyed Guard' in Iron Man 3.  Yeah, that guy.
In a filler Sub-Plot that is mostly for Part 5, Not The Master is thought dead, but recovers on some alien-looking world.  Thanks for that.
The residents lock our heroes up, so they don't get in the way.  The fact that the metal-eating worms on there because of them is a good reason too.

Fortunately, Josh is able to escape with Not The Doctor by using his new powers to...age the bars into easily-broken rust.  Time Warrior!
Not Leela has to fight for Josh and Not The Doctor's lives and wins.  The Leader gets depressed, but stands back that Josh can save the day.  Oops.
In a bit you'd see about three years later in Galaxy Quest, the villain escapes his exploding ship to get his one last hurrah.

In a bit unique to this film, Josh Kirby de-ages the guy to a baby.  Time Warrior!
Through random chance involving the Deus Ex Machina sends our heroes to a new world (since their ship is trashed) that is full of...these things.

A movie about Mushroom People?  Been there, done that.  The End (for now).
Four Films in and I'm still not really that invested.  The overall Story here is something that could be interesting.  Time Travel, Space Travel and the fate of the Universe- that's classic stuff.  The problem is that this whole Series never feels all that inspired.  Well, that's not completely true- it does feel inspired by other Stories.  Part 2, for example, seemed very inspired by Wizards (with giant children using people as toys), while Part 3 took many 'notes' from Babes in Toyland.  There's no problem with being inspired by other Stories, but you have to add something of note.  Part 1 at least had the idea to mix Dinosaurs with a cliche Evil Prince taking over the Land.  This time, it is so just so freaking stock!  It is nice to finally give Not Leela some real back-story at least.  I didn't care, but good for trying.  As a Josh Kirby Chapter, it is decent enough.  As a normal film, it is just kind of 'Meh.'  On the plus side, the villain reminded me of another WWE Star- Adam Rose...
Switching gears yet again, let me cover the first of two Norwegian Horror Film Sequels.  When in doubt, copy a famous Horror Film Sequel from America.  Stay tuned...

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