Wednesday, January 1, 2014

WTF Japan?!?: Zombie Stripper Apocalypse

This is one of those instances where I really hate being American.  Boy, that could be taken out of context, huh?  My reasoning is that the only DVD of this movie available to me is the bare bones, English Dub Version (bought from Blockbuster).  I hate those.  It may seem odd that I want to watch movies in a language other than English, but when a film wasn't made in English...I really do.  There's another reason too.  Look- I know a little about the Manga and know that it is somewhat of a Parody.  I have no issue with that.  My issue is that I don't know whether the English Dub matches the tone/story/feel of the actual film.  The English Dub adds all sorts of weird 'make fun of the movie as it happens' bits in it.  At one point, they're complaining to a guy about not getting paid.  One of them is nudging his arm lightly.  The English Dub has her 'say' something like 'I'm lighting nudging your arm.  Does that bother you?'  I'm sorry- was that a joke?  I'm not even being sarcastic at this point- was it a joke?  Was this part of the film?  That said, the movie in Japanese was not going to be some sort of classic.  One of the worst feelings with a movie is hating it, but not being sure whether you should or not.  Assault Girls was a boring waste of time- I know why I hate that.  I Was A Teenage Ninja was a movie that turned into porn, but wasn't advertised as such- I know why I hate this.  Jaws In Japan is a boring, weird piece of shit (and the worst film that I own)- I really know why I hate this film.  With this film, I want to hate it completely, but just don't know if everything bad about it is the film's fault.  To see why I have reasons to hate it either way, read on...
The film begins In Media Res (the only arty part of the film) with two of the ladies killing Zombies.  The Dubbed In Voice makes a joke about how they're going to 'do a shot-for-shot Remake of this bit later.'

See- it's funny because...they show the same part again...or something.
Our heroine flashes back to how she got in the Club she's working in (after announcing that she's going to, because...funny?) and we learn that she may have a drinking problem.

Without obnoxious dubbing, this whole bit could be funny.  I mean, she has NO standards, it seems.
She ends up at a Club with about two clients.  Their boss is a dick.

According to the 'comedic' dubbing, he's an Actor trying to get out of the film.  Meta!  Laugh- dammit!!!!
The bored Strippers find a locked door in their room- after making a 'joke' about how a Grip should be fixing up the Set- and find a room full of magical shit.  Well, that and dolls (that they call Cabbage Patch Dolls).

There's also a cheap-looking pit that one of them leaves open.  Here come Zombies.
The admittedly-small Cast is whittled down.  They build up the Chainsaw from earlier, but then a Dubbed-In 'joke' is made about it looking more fake later.

Honestly, I thought it looked fine.  I'm actually confused by this one.  Yes, more than usual.
This part just kind of happens on its own and now amount of 'riffing' can do anything about it.  It is what it is.
The one Stripper finds the Book of the Dead (which isn't gold) and commands the Zombies.  The Dubbing made a joke about her being evil (even having one of them 'say' 'Spoiler Alert' to boot) early on, so it's no surprise.
I won't SPOIL the Ending too much, especially since I don't know what it was supposed to actually mean before the Dubbing.  The possibly-jokey wrap-up just felt dumb and made no sense.
In The End, it's all about the money.  Again- I don't know what this was supposed to actually mean pre-Dubbing.  It probably still wasn't all that good.  The End.
Yeah, this was kind of a movie.  I've harped on this enough, but I have to say it one more time: what was up with the Dubbing?  I just can't escape this.  The whole thing feels like a silly-looking movie was sent to America and someone said 'Let's Dub over it and we can sell it.'  You guys have released dozens of weird Japanese films in America with either normal Dubbing or Subtitles.  For some reason, this one was so bad that they *seemingly* butchered this one.  Judged purely on its own merits, Zombie Stripper Apocalypse (actually Big Tits Zombie or The Big Tits Dragon) is a goofy, low-budget film about Strippers battling Zombies.  Is that a formula for a great movie?  No.  Unfortunately, I won't truly now how good or bad this movie is until I see it with real Subtitles.  It probably won't be much better- I grant you that.  Just remember that now matter how bad a film may be, it never leads to an awkward morning like this one...
Up next, a movie that I've watched twice and owned for like two years.  How I never reviewed this Thai Western is anyone's guess.  Stay tuned...

No comments:

Post a Comment