The First Remake: Carrie (2002)

Look- can we just leave this one be?  Today's film is Carrie- the 2002 Remake that is.  Naturally, there is more than one Remake of this film.  Ugh.  This one is more than just a film- it is also a back-door pilot.  Joy.  This comes to us from Bryan Fuller, which is actually kind of funny.  As recent history as shown, the guy can turn a Film into a successful TV Series.  While I don't watch Hannibal, clearly alot of you do.  Plus, it clearly has inspired similar works *cough* The Black List *cough* on NBC.  Clearly lightning only strikes on the second time.  The previous statement is more scientifically-verifiable than anything on Ancient Aliens.  Speaking of things from outer space, Carrie can summon rocks from the sky.  Do you still want to know more?  Too late- you're going to...

After a pointless shot of Carrie's Mom, we jump to far ahead of the actual events.  Why?

"Well, we needed to frame the whole thing as being told to Cop (David Keith," said Bryan Fuller.

So yeah, Carrie is picked on because she looks like she is planning to blow up her School at all times.  They try to peg it as people mocking her for being religious, but...well, look at this 28-year-old Senior and judge for yourself.

Watch Carrie casually show her powers throughout the film, as opposed to building it up for dramatic effect.  You could argue that it is acceptable since the first film is famous, but...Carrie was a book first too.  I'm just saying.

Incidentally, how come this kid who gets sent flying 20-feet into a tree not report what happened?

Pointless flashback to Carrie's past.  Who's relating this story again?  Your pointless framing device...wow.

Fun Fact: Jodelle 'Silent Hill' Ferland is Young Carrie.  You really were typecast as a kid, huh?  Good luck.

In said flashback, young Carrie shows her powers during a scene of being yelled at by Mom.  This means...summoning rocks from outer space, apparently.

Seriously, if you have a less stupid explanation, I'm all ears!

This thing is over two hours- since it was made a TV Special- so it takes a long, long time to get to where you know it is going.  Even the new Remake that few people like is less than that.

I will *kind of/sort of* give them points for teasing that the blood isn't dumped on her.  Of course, that contradicts the way the story is framed, so it less convincing than that one bit in Gravity.  You know the one.

What this film adds is a bigger body count, an extended bit of her walking around smashing stuff and some terribly-dated CG.  Yes, it was made 10 years ago and for TV...but still.  Damn.

What it also adds is an open ending with Carrie escaping...somehow and being led to safety by the not-as-bad-by-comparison girl (who also skipped the Prom).  This was done to allow a possible TV Series if this did well.

It didn't.  To be honest, what would it have been?  My best guess: The Incredible Hulk- Starring Carrie.

There is nothing new to see here (that is any good).  What was done well in the Book and first Film is done about the same here.  The difference is that it takes forever to get there!  Get to the point!  It is one thing when you are doing a tale with a foregone conclusion, but you can mix it up a bit.  Most of the time, they don't bother...but they could.  Here you can only build up to the Prom and her killing spree- unless you want to offend people.  So yeah, good job.  The whole dynamic has changed with this thing and it reminds me of a quote regarding Jaws 2.  When asked why they show the Shark so early, the Director explained that you can't replicate that first appearance again.  That is pretty much the issue with doing Carrie again and again...and again.  The 2013 film pretty much built the promotion around the Prom and things going to hell.  So this is all just a one-scene film with 80ish minutes of build-up.  Ugh.  If you've seen the first Carrie, stick with that one.  This film has almost nothing new going for it, save for meteors and the fact that the same Actress is also in the film that a bad (authorized) Remake of Children of the Corn from 2009...

Next up, I finally get my hands on a new Dario Argento film!  With him treading familiar territory, will he make something interesting out of it?  Stay tuned...