Saturday, January 18, 2014

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Big Ass Spider!

Hurray for random death!

Big Ass Spider! is so chock full of random death that it just has to be featured here.  Let's begin the film's first murder location: the Hospital.  This old man is lying in bed.
He sees a lump pressing its way towards him under his sheets.  This is exactly why the Call Button exists!
Will a Nurse come to help him?  Will he have company in the Get Killed By A Spider in Los Angeles Section of Heaven?
Well, no.  The slightly-big-ass spider kills him and escapes to kill many, many more people.
Who is this old guy?  Does he even have a name?  Nope.

There's more death to come.  There may even be time to cover a Cameo by a man who does nothing but make Cameos in worse films than this.  We'll see.

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