On this special Day, I cover a Film about War that most people have forgotten about. Given what I know about it, I can't blame them too much. Made years after the original 'Satire' Starship Troopers, this Direct-to-DVD Film slashed the Budget more than Jason Voorhees in the world's largest Girl's Dormitory. Is money the biggest thing? No. Of course, if you're making a Film that relies so much on CGI, it is *kind of* important. On top of that, Starship Troopers 2 has no major returning Stars and a Story that is seemingly-not-important. Just to note: I've watched Starship Troopers 3 and the CGI-Animated one and this shit NEVER came up. Good times. In this one, the War continues...but almost none of the big-scale stuff does. Instead, we get a small group of Roughnecks stuck on a Planet waiting for rescue, only to discover that not all killer bugs are giant, man-eaters. Even though nobody talks about this, I will. To find out what you missed (but maybe didn't care about), read on...
Do you like big, flashy explosions like this?
Well, you don't get them here, save for this bit of Stock Footage in the beginning.
In lieu of that, get used to cost-cutting things like...
* Shooting inside as much as possible.
* Setting the whole Film at night.
* Copious use of sandstorms and shadows.
* No big battles, just people bickering in a building.
After plenty of indoor filler, the General and two Soldiers show up, having survived the initial attack.
This leads to more of them sitting around inside and slowly setting up a new Plot (since the Bugs are too expensive to keep showing up). That Plot?
The Thing.
Seriously, that's what we get. Tiny (comparatively) bugs are put into the Soldiers and mind-control them. Alright.
It is up to these two Soldiers (the former who was supposed to be Clancy Brown, but he was too busy) to save the day and stop the Soldiers here, before they infect others.
I'd say that this might do the trick. Macho!!!
He keeps the Bugs (the bigger ones) back long enough for the lady to escape and save the day. He gets to be a Hero (who's not mentioned in either Sequel) and gets this sweet banner.
That last part actually refers to the Actor who played the Role- he really kep this. The End.
As a stand-alone film, it is just kind of disappointing. As the follow-up to a big, bombastic (and silly) Action Film, it is a real disappointment. Like I said before, Budget isn't everything. There are good Films that were made for a small Budget. There are truly terrible (no Caps) Films that were made for huge Budgets. Having said all that again, let me repeat: this is a disappointing Film. I will not say that Starship Troopers is a really good Film. It is not. I even watched Rifftrax tear it to shreds in Theaters- it was hilarious. Part of what makes that Film not a complete mess is the style and design behind it all. It made a good use of its Budget- it was just written as a dumb Movie. You can watch it and laugh, but also take in the neat Special Effects. What happens when you strip almost all of that out then? The answer- a surprisingly-dull Film. I would give them credit for trying something new...if this wasn't a budgetary thing (and if the new idea was actually new). To put this in perspective, imagine if they actually made a Direct-to-DVD Sequel to War of the Worlds (not the Asylum one). This would, naturally, have a much smaller Budget. So you'd get the Martians attacking again...and a Film based around four people hiding in a Barn. Would that be good? Probably not. This is not a terrible Film- it is just really not that interesting. On the plus side, this alternate DVD Art sort of is (a little)...
Next up, my other Second Opinion Review for Project Terrible. The Asylum strikes again with a baffling tale of technology and useless heroes. Stay tuned...
Do you like big, flashy explosions like this?
Well, you don't get them here, save for this bit of Stock Footage in the beginning.
In lieu of that, get used to cost-cutting things like...
* Shooting inside as much as possible.
* Setting the whole Film at night.
* Copious use of sandstorms and shadows.
* No big battles, just people bickering in a building.
This leads to more of them sitting around inside and slowly setting up a new Plot (since the Bugs are too expensive to keep showing up). That Plot?
The Thing.
Seriously, that's what we get. Tiny (comparatively) bugs are put into the Soldiers and mind-control them. Alright.
It is up to these two Soldiers (the former who was supposed to be Clancy Brown, but he was too busy) to save the day and stop the Soldiers here, before they infect others.
I'd say that this might do the trick. Macho!!!
He keeps the Bugs (the bigger ones) back long enough for the lady to escape and save the day. He gets to be a Hero (who's not mentioned in either Sequel) and gets this sweet banner.
That last part actually refers to the Actor who played the Role- he really kep this. The End.
As a stand-alone film, it is just kind of disappointing. As the follow-up to a big, bombastic (and silly) Action Film, it is a real disappointment. Like I said before, Budget isn't everything. There are good Films that were made for a small Budget. There are truly terrible (no Caps) Films that were made for huge Budgets. Having said all that again, let me repeat: this is a disappointing Film. I will not say that Starship Troopers is a really good Film. It is not. I even watched Rifftrax tear it to shreds in Theaters- it was hilarious. Part of what makes that Film not a complete mess is the style and design behind it all. It made a good use of its Budget- it was just written as a dumb Movie. You can watch it and laugh, but also take in the neat Special Effects. What happens when you strip almost all of that out then? The answer- a surprisingly-dull Film. I would give them credit for trying something new...if this wasn't a budgetary thing (and if the new idea was actually new). To put this in perspective, imagine if they actually made a Direct-to-DVD Sequel to War of the Worlds (not the Asylum one). This would, naturally, have a much smaller Budget. So you'd get the Martians attacking again...and a Film based around four people hiding in a Barn. Would that be good? Probably not. This is not a terrible Film- it is just really not that interesting. On the plus side, this alternate DVD Art sort of is (a little)...
Next up, my other Second Opinion Review for Project Terrible. The Asylum strikes again with a baffling tale of technology and useless heroes. Stay tuned...
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