Quick Reviews: The Crooked Man (2016)

Before that Nun from The Conjuring 2 gets a spin-off (WHY?!?), let's see another Character from the same Film get a non-Canonical Film of its own...

In 2010, some kids play a new Ringu-style Game at a Sleepover- Singing 'The Crooked Man' Rhyme with an Internet Video.  It summons him and he kills one girl...but with the blame left on another girl.

Google what the actual Rhyme is about.  I'm too lazy to do it for you.

In 2016, the girl is released from an Asylum at age 18.  The Crooked Man returns, because, reasons.

She tries to convince her friends that they are all in danger, since they were in the House when the Rhyme was sung.

Yes, this even affects the Pizza Guy who was outside, the Mother getting dressed in another Room and a guy who was outside the Window.

They get picked off one-by-one in gruesome fashion.  If you're wondering what the Rules of this guy are, it is just he can't be in light, but otherwise all bets are off.

Does blinking count?  Why does sleeping with lights on protect you?

They track down the source of the Website- Black Dynamite!  Despite being top-billed, he only has about six lines and this one key Scene.

Yadda yadda evil music box yadda yadda old professor.

All of this leads up to a showdown that is conveniently-extended, despite this OP Spirit's previously-easy kills.

Can they stop the creature or will they die as well?  To find out, you know the drill.

Well, it is not all that creative or inspired.  It doesn't suck though, so yea.  This one falls into that weird category where I really can't rag on it too much, but nor am I going to heap much praise upon it.  The effects for The Crooked Man are nice and the make-up work for him is appropriately-freaky.  The kills feature some creativity in the execution- pun fully intended- like the one where someone's head is twisted around, as shown in POV mode.  That said, this is technically a TV Movie, so it has the Kill Quota thing going on- one every fifteen minutes or less- that makes things a bit predictable.  The Story is stock and borrows heavily from a number of more-famous works.  There's a little Ringu, a little Lights Out, a dash of The Conjuring and even a sprinkle of Evil Dead II in there.  Other than the basic visuals of the deaths, there's nothing really new here.  There's also that odd thing where some Characters just kind of stop appearing- like the Dad- for no reason.  All in all, it is nothing new, but at least it does some of its stock things well and *occasionally* looks neat.  Now remember that dead girl from Picture #2?  Well, half the time they cut back to that Scene, she looks like this instead...

A so-so Thriller that is never really bad per se.  That said, it is pretty one-note and only alright.