Quick Reviews: The Mummy (2017)

Another day, another Film that disappointed financially this year.  Is this the start of something big or the cinematic equivalent of signaling for a Home Run and striking out?  Let's see...

In Iraq, a mysterious sarcophagus is unearthed by two Soldiers- including Cruise- and an Anthropologist.  They don't have time to investigate it before transport.

Oh wait- the Film *actually* begins with a Flashback to Knights Templar, a bit with Dr. Jekyll finding the bodies in the present and THEN the long backstory for the titular Mummy.

Pacing!

En route, all hell breaks loose.  Cruise's body becomes an infected killer and a murder of crows strikes the plane, causing it to crash.

Cruise saves the Scientist (after being a world-class jerk) and is seemingly-killed.

However, he suddenly turns up alive in the Morgue.  He's been chosen by the Mummy to be her 'beloved' and she's keeping him alive for the Ceremony.

Now let's stop everything after an Action Set Piece to set up the other Films...

We learn about another secret organization, its enigmatic leader- Crowe as Jekyll- and see Easter Eggs for the other planned Films.  More than just an aside, however, as the 2nd Act is all here AND Hyde is featured heavily in Action Set Piece #7.

For all the outrage over Episode 7 of Stranger Things this Season, at least that was set up AND is far less of a silly introduction for something later.

Using a mind-controlling spider (why not?), she escapes and attacks London.  Cue Trailer moments AND Requisite Tom Cruise Running.

Can The Mummy get her wish?  Will she gain a lover and ultimate power?  Will this have a satisfying ending if nothing else comes of the Dark Universe?

To find out, watch the Film (like you didn't in Theaters).

It was better with Brendan Fraser.  Whatever happened to that guy, anyhow?  The Mummy is not a terrible Film.  It is not a particularly-good Film either.  The whole thing mostly just riffs on the Cliché stuff and falls flat.  The moments that are different- like a female Mummy- are undercut by the shallow, soulless nature of it all.  Anything particularly interesting just is or feels unoriginal.  Man transformed against his will and haunted by his dead friend- American Werewolf in London.  Smart Lady Scientist and gruff Action Guy fight Mummy- The Mummy (1999).  Giant Set Piece Action bit in/around London- The Mummy Returns.  Creature captured and escapes his bonds in a lab- Dracula II: Ascension.  Big plane stunt with Tom Cruise- Mission Impossible 5.  Tom Cruise appears shirtless at least once to prove that he works out- all Films with Tom Cruise post-2000.  Magical enemy summons undead army- countless Films.  Here's a minor gripe: the Film can't seem to grasp the difference between a Mummy and just a corpse.  Why can The Mummy revive and control Knights Templar Skeletons?  If they are just saying that she has magical powers from Set, then...I still have issues.  That leads to a bigger issue- is this Film trying to be Horror or Action?  For example, The Mummy drains the life out of people, leaving them withered husks that she then commands.  Horrific...but mostly just used to create Disposable CG Army Trope.  They also try to work in humor related to the bodies being brittle- confusing.  What is the tone of this one?  Why does it just treat Mummies (not counting the main one) like Zombies?  The whole thing just feels kind of empty and is stalled by Series Set-Up that may not matter.  One last bit of irony- Tom Cruise was often touted as  Iron Man in the many promised Film Adaptations in the '90s.  It ultimately went to Robert Downey Jr, who launched the MCU with Iron Man.  This Series' Iron Man...appears to be a non-starter.  Sorry, Tom.

It isn't a terrible Film...but it is no Tent Pole Film/Franchise Starter.  Pick a Genre and do it right, not whatever this all was.