On this day of Online Shopping, it is important to remember how far we've come.
For instance, Extreme Dinosaurs once predicted a time when people would surf the Internet using their VR Helmets.
No, really.
Let's look back in jest at some other hilariously-dated things like that from the Genre of Film...
11. Digital Man: He's knock-off Robocop. He's a Robot. He's not actually digital.
10. Hologram Man: He's actually digital, so what the hell? In any event, a killer's mind is placed into the 'Internet' and he kills people in his not-at-all digital form. Our hero has to do the same. Try to take this seriously.
9. The Lawnmower Man: Playing VR Games makes you super-smart. Still no.
8. Virtuosity: In the Future, we make an advanced AI that combines the 'minds' and attributes of famous, evil people throughout History. This includes people like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy and Hitler.
7. The Occultist: This one is surprisingly-boring. Why should it be interesting? Well...
Our Hero fires a bullet from his dick!
Still boring.
6. Cyborg Cop II: In the future, bad people again make criminals into unstoppable, killer cyborgs. Were The Homeless not available?
5. Cyborg 3/Tank Girl: Here's a useless, but fun fact for you- in 1994 and 1995, Malcolm McDowell played Villains with Robot Hands.
Neither Film is related in any other way, but weird all the same.
4. The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes: The title Detective's evil brother- not Mycroft- dons a mech suit and sends a robot dragon to kill the Queen of England. Holmes follows him in an airship.
Words fail me, gentlemen.
3. Cyborg Cop III: The more obscure, the better! In this one, we are making new Cyborgs. What makes them better? They're full of insect blood- which is apparently better!
Oh and this is also called Cyborg Cop II sometimes. Naturally.
2. Class of 1999: Are your Students not behaving? Put killer Cyborgs in charge of them then! Nothing could ever go wrong.
1. The Lawnmower Man 2- Jobe's War: Could it be anything else?
Now somehow in the future (but with an unclear amount of time having passed), Jobe is revived and tries to take over the World. Sadly, our Villain looked more convincing in Generation X.
It has a light saber battle, so this is easily #1. Bless you, terrible sequels.
Just think- in like 20 years, we'll all be looking back and laughing at stuff like Jurassic World.
Oh right- we're already doing that. Never mind.
Come at me, Internet.
For instance, Extreme Dinosaurs once predicted a time when people would surf the Internet using their VR Helmets.
Let's look back in jest at some other hilariously-dated things like that from the Genre of Film...
11. Digital Man: He's knock-off Robocop. He's a Robot. He's not actually digital.
10. Hologram Man: He's actually digital, so what the hell? In any event, a killer's mind is placed into the 'Internet' and he kills people in his not-at-all digital form. Our hero has to do the same. Try to take this seriously.
8. Virtuosity: In the Future, we make an advanced AI that combines the 'minds' and attributes of famous, evil people throughout History. This includes people like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy and Hitler.
Why?
7. The Occultist: This one is surprisingly-boring. Why should it be interesting? Well...
Our Hero fires a bullet from his dick!
Still boring.
6. Cyborg Cop II: In the future, bad people again make criminals into unstoppable, killer cyborgs. Were The Homeless not available?
In any event, it goes horribly, horribly awry.
Neither Film is related in any other way, but weird all the same.
4. The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes: The title Detective's evil brother- not Mycroft- dons a mech suit and sends a robot dragon to kill the Queen of England. Holmes follows him in an airship.
Words fail me, gentlemen.
3. Cyborg Cop III: The more obscure, the better! In this one, we are making new Cyborgs. What makes them better? They're full of insect blood- which is apparently better!
Oh and this is also called Cyborg Cop II sometimes. Naturally.
Now somehow in the future (but with an unclear amount of time having passed), Jobe is revived and tries to take over the World. Sadly, our Villain looked more convincing in Generation X.
It has a light saber battle, so this is easily #1. Bless you, terrible sequels.
Just think- in like 20 years, we'll all be looking back and laughing at stuff like Jurassic World.
Oh right- we're already doing that. Never mind.
Come at me, Internet.
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