Rare Flix: CHUD II- Bud the CHUD

Is there a reason why a DVD Version of this film is so hard to find?  Seriously, go to whatever Store you go to where you Rent/Buy DVDs and try to find this movie.  Unless you buy the Horror Collection 8-Pack (one of many, obviously), you're not going to find it.  It's been available in places like Europe and Asia for years, but only recently appeared.  While I'm still waiting for Scanner Cop 1 & 2 on DVD and the Dr. Phibes films on Blu-Ray, I've got this film.  For a refresher course, the original CHUD was about the titular creatures killing homeless people in New York.  It actually has a lot more social commentary than you would think.  Allegedly, it was due to a rewrite done by Stars Daniel Stern and Christopher Curry (although the Producer disputes this).  Don't worry- all of that is gone in the Sequel.  Thanks to 'The Evil Dead Effect,' this is a Comedy.  No, really.  In place of the Sewer Dwellers, we have, well, Zombies.  So, in summary, they made another version of Return of the Living Dead (which itself was made in Return of the Living Dead II).  Joy.  To find out why this film probably shouldn't have left the Vault, read on...

In place of those cool creatures, we get a zombie guy named Bud (not Bub from a far better film).  He was created by the Government from the C.H.U.D. DNA...or something.  That's the pretense for making this a sequel.

Sadly, Bud is played by Gerrit Graham, who's actually quite good.  He's just stuck in this shit.

Just for comparison, let's put the titular creatures side-by-side.  I mean...just look at this.

Much like Ghoulies III, I really don't like the lead here.  He's more overtly-annoying and has just one of those faces that you just want to punch.  Right, Bob?

Through a series of silly and stupid events, our heroes end up with Bud's body.  They take it to their house because...um, I'll get back to you on that.

Here's a fun game to play while watching C.H.U.D II: Take a shot every time they *almost* show a company logo.  This is the kind of film that's probably more tolerable while drunk.

Bud goes around killing random people in the Town and making them into Zombies...I mean, C.H.U.D.s?  This will be expanded upon in Poor Bastards of Cinema later on this week.

Our heroes face off with a lone C.H.U.D.bie and discovers that they can kill him by freezing him and then charging the body with electricity.  Somehow, I don't think that we'll see this one on Mythbusters!

It all builds up to the CHUDbies attacking a Dance, but managing to kill nobody thanks to their dancing.  No, really.

Our heroes trick them all into going in the pool, they freeze it and you know the rest.

Unfortunately, our annoying hero is bitten and leaves with the CHUDbie dog (precursor to the Vampire Pomeranean from Blade: Trinity).  Oh and the General (Robert Vaughn) was apparently bitten too.  I missed that scene, I guess.  The End.

Really movie?  This whole thing is a joke, for more than just the intentional reasons.  Don't get me wrong- C.H.U.D. was not great.  As an April Fool's Day Joke, the Criterion Group announced it getting a new release.  I don't think it's that bad, but it's by no means a true classic.  That said, it didn't deserve this.  C.H.U.D. II is for all intents and purposes a rip-off of Return of the Living Dead.  Obviously, Return is better.  Hell, I still kind of like that film's sequel better, but I may warm on this one in the future.  The problem is that the Plot is pretty much just 3 Parts: Comedic Set-Up, Bud Kills People and the Finale.  There is pretty much no nuance here.  Furthermore, they switch from flame-throwers to some sort of freeze spray guns here.  Did I miss the part where fire stopped working?  The other problem is this film's serious identity crisis.  Evil Dead II was very gory, but it was always played so 'over-the-top' that it never felt too dark.  It's a better balance than the Remake sure had!  This film is pure comedy and then people being killed, but not in remotely-funny ways.  It's one of those films (kind of like Postal) that do dark things and just expect them to be inherently funny.  In contrast, however, they cop out on actually showing the fate of the C.H.U.D.bie Trick-or-Treating kids from earlier.  Lost your nerve, movie?  C.H.U.D. II is a bizarre mess of a film that's...well, I'd rather make jokes about their near advertising instead.  Wrap-up!

Next up, a new DVD release that I just had to see.  I had to see it because its stupid and stars Joe Estevez- naturally.  Stay tuned...