No P.O.S. computer issues can keep me from posting. Dammit.
*
Two different movies share one common trait amongst their varying plots, film quality and overall differences. Let's start off simple with a cult classic that has one dangling plot thread that strikes me...
Dragonslayer
To start off with, this is a good movie. As I said, there is just one thing that is a bit 'off'' about it. Shall I explain? I guess I should, yeah.*
Early on in the movie, the great wizard and mentor to our hero dies in a freak accident. This forces the newcomer to have to battle the powerful dragon on his own. Good luck, kid. Now, here's the thing: he comes back.
*
Right when the big battle finally comes up, the wizard allows himself to come back to life. He explains that he could have done it at any point. So, why did you not help your student? Did you just not want to make the long trip to the cave? Really now!
Deathstalker III
See, now this movie I can make fun of freely. It sucks long, hard and often. Out of the four films in the series, only one is not on official DVD. Even Barbarian Queen II is on DVD. I'm just saying.
*
Early on in the movie, the forces of the evil wizard villain attack the camp where Deathstalker and the good wizard are. The good one, using his Wonder Woman-esque powers teleports away with a spin. Where does he go? Just wait.*
Most of the movie goes by before we find out. Our hero goes to battle the villain and stumbles across the same stock footage bar scene that is in every Deathstalker movie. Seriously- check it out. Out of freaking nowhere, the wizard suddenly appears in the bad guy's castle. About four days have gone by in the story and he just shows up with no explanation. On top of that, he is immediately grabbed by guards and captured. What was the point?*
This movie is just plain bad. It is funny to laugh at, but not nearly as much as Deathstalker and it is not nearly as humorous on its own as Deathstalker II. The new actor playing the role is not as good as any of the other ones, which is a really bad insult if you think about it. The worst part is the wizard who has no plans, logic or follow-through. He must have been the director too!
*
Let's talk a moment away from magic for a moment. Japan- I'm looking at you. Stay tuned...
No comments:
Post a Comment