Wednesday, March 25, 2009

WTF Japan?!?: Executive Koala

How do you follow up topless schoolgirls fighting zombies in between incestual make-out sessions? With cute animals. I bring you...
This is another one that simply blows my mind. Like a lot of these movies, it is just hard to get what the point of it was. Maybe it is just simpler to say that there was none.

A Koala man is an ad executive in a major company. I lost you already, didn't I? Try to stay with me, people. Our hero is troubled by his past, so much so that he has trouble with his new girlfriend and his shrink. His previous girlfriend, you see, was murdered. One detective believes that the mammal did it. Did he?

Let's get this part out of the way now. There are three animal people in the movie. Just three. The lead, his boss and a shop owner. Everyone else is a normal person. At only point does a human react strangely to all of this. Moving on...

The whole thing builds and builds towards the idea that the Koala did do it. They even show it happening. Oh wait, that was a scene from a movie shoot about the murder. Never mind. After some hypnotic regression, the Koala feels that he did do it and confesses. Plus, he kills his rabbit boss and therapist.

Through a very elaborate and confusing bit of exposition, we learn that a previously-seen Korean businessman was actually, wait for it, the ex-boyfriend of his dead fiancee. Evidently, she sent him a letter about how the Koala beat her. Is that true? Well, yes and no. I'll explain.

He did beat her, but he did it for a good reason. Her descendants, you see, were hunters of koalas over a hundred years ago. As a koala, his ancestral memories made him attack her. She faked her own death as part of a very elaborate revenge scheme alongside her Korean ex. They are both killed by our hero in the fight, but come back. How? By using the secret 'Resurrection' technique, duh! They eventually all make peace as the sun comes up. Say it with me: Huh?

As much as I can make jokes about this movie, it was never boring. It was weird as hell, but something was always happening. That should count for something, I suppose. If this movie sounds interesting to you, you can watch it in its entirety on YouTube...until someone wakes up and pulls it.

Coming up: sex robots, ass-blades and pet detectives. Stay tuned...

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