My Crazy Youth: The Time That Superboy Fought Ghost Cowboys (That Came Out of a Mirror)

 Do you remember Superboy?
Not many people did, as one of the Actors that played the Lead- yes, there were 2- was up for the role of SuperMAN in Superman Returns...before they realized.

Since WB/Discovery is leasing their Shows out to make a few bucks, I can enjoy this silly Show without paying them (at least, directly).

In this Episode, Superboy, well, you can read the Title...

In this Episode, Clark, Lana and his friend Andy go to the latter's Uncle's House.

The House is full of strange architecture, rooms and the like.

Why?

Well, they blatantly rip off the story of Mrs. Winchester (and her Mystery House).

Andy plays with an old gun on the wall- as you do- and accidentally shoots a mirror...which was a bad idea.

This portal sucks in Lana and Andy, while Clark is just out of the room.

He flies in as Superboy and into the portal, allowing a third Ghost to come out of the other side.

And yes, the Ghosts are all blue.  Why not?

Superboy and his friends are stuck in...the Ghost Dimension, I guess...now.

They find a Saloon full of other blue Ghosts and, of course, a big fight breaks out.

They act like Superboy might lose...but he doesn't.

The Ghosts find the Uncle- who's in the Hospital- and bring him back to the mirror.

If you're wondering how they traveled there or wanted to see it, too bad!

Anyhow, they throw him in, which allows Billy the Kid to come back!

Superboy then enacts his brilliant plan- block the exit.

He essentially just blocks the magic exit to the Afterlife like a guy putting his arm out to stop an Elevator Door from closing!

They all go back through the Portal and the other Ghosts are sent back immediately.

So much for that threat.

The End.

A silly Episode, but it had potential.  Take Superboy out of the normal 'Stop Mad Scientist and/or Super Villain' routine and fresh things can happen.

Unfortunately, not much actually does happen here.

The Ghosts show up.
A fight is avoided.
Superboy fights random other Ghosts in the Saloon.
They tease a fight with him and the Ghosts...but it is just him flying back through the Portal instead.

Don't misunderstand- there's a certain level of enjoyment to be gleaned from this one, just not as much as you might think.  With only half an hour to fill- so, actually, 24 minutes- they barely do much with this.

It's a shame that this isn't a 2-Part Episode to really lean into the craziness.

As it is, it's fun.

Speaking of fun, how much fun would it be to get Credited just for suggesting that someone make a Show out of a pre-existing Character?  Now imagine that it is specifically just the medium, to boot!  Well, it happened...

Another Superboy Adventure is on the way, don't worry.  Let's see if we can get something eviler than just Ghost Cowboys...

Shudder Saturday: Blood Machines (2019/2020)

 Since Saturday seems to be a more stable day for me, let's showcase some Horror/Sci-Fi today.

Today's Film is Blood Machines, a 2019 import with a bright visual style.  Does it have more to offer you though?

A cocky- read:asshole- Space Pilot shoots down a ship and lands on the Planet where it crashed.

He wants the wreckage to sell for scrap.

His ship- by the way- looks like a freaky techno-vampire's mouth.

It looks great...but who would design a ship like that in real life?!?

Anyhow, they run afoul of some Ladies, who insist that the ship is...alive?

On board, his Partner and the AI- who's body is designed to look like the famous Robot from Metropolis- detect weird energy and other such things.

Now there's...an eclipse?!?

Something I won't SPOIL happens and they must fly off in pursuit!

Even if they catch up, however, can they deal with what they find?

I won't dare SPOIL anything else about this one.

It's three 15-minute Episodes (roughly) and you really just need to see it.

What a fun, freaky and trippy sight.  This thing truly is a bizarrely great visual delight.

If nothing else, the Film looks great.  For fans of hard, freaky sci-fi will really love this.  Throw in a Carpenter Brut Soundtrack and it sure is something.  Alot of people sure put a lot of time and effort into this thing.  Kudos!

If you're looking for Sci-Fi with clear answers, more nuanced Characters and a rich lore, this is not for you.  It has a good, if simple-sounding Story that eventually just goes bananas.  I'd love to say more, but obviously I won't.

This was Executive Produced by David Sandberg, who is supposedly STILL working on a proper Kung Fury Film, and that makes alot of sense.

If you think of this as a 45-minute (roughly) mind trip with some crazy and impressive visuals, it's a winner.  Just don't expect something out of Star Trek anything.  If you do, you'll find yourself making this face for a while.

After Blood Vessel, I wasn't expecting much from a similar-sounding, but otherwise very-different feature.  Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised!

Tubi Thursday: Killer Bee Invasion (2020)

 China's run of Syfy Channel-style Films has been real hit or miss.

I'm taking a break from the 15 or so they made about Sharks or Snakes to cover Bees.
Would this come back to sting me in the ass?

The Film begins with a bunch of military guys on an island and they're attacked by...something.

There'll be more explanation later, but first...

We now have to see how they got to this point.

It's all 'Something something bees something something immortality.'

All you need to know is that it is important and...oops, killer bees.

The two groups- the Soldiers and the Survivors- meet up and we learn what the threat earlier was.

If you guessed bees, you'd be wrong.
It was Dogs.  Mutant Dogs.

Can our Heroes stop the killer dogs and, I guess, the swarm of bees that shows up a few times?

Can they stop heroically sacrificing themselves every 10 minutes?

To find out, go to Tubi now and see.

It's kind of very disappointing, to be honest.
Was I expecting a great Film?  No.
Was I expecting a fun (possibly) silly Film about giant CGI Bees attacking people?  Yes.

The Poster Art all promises this and the Film has none of it.

The Bees are either a vague swarm- essentially a mass of black pixels or normal-sized CGI creatures that just kind of fly around people.

I have to go rewatch Stung again.  At least that one gave me what I wanted!

The Film is lacking in the silly charm that it should have- giant CGI Killer Bees- and is just kind of a so-so Action Film with very melodramatic Acting & Plot.  Also, not for nothing, but half of these Films are Dubbed and half of them- like this one- are Subbed.

Can you just please pick a language format?!?

The Film isn't terrible.  What's not bad is just kind of generic, everyone takes everything so bloody seriously and it is mostly about people being chased by CGI Dogs.

Next time, let the Poster Team make the Film, alright?

Another so-so Film that can't simply deliver on a silly Premise.  You can make these fun, you know!

2022 Catch-Up: Nope (2022)

After far too long, let's look at Jordan Peele's latest Film.
See how far he's come from MadTV to get to making...

In rural California, a family has to come together after the death of their patriarch.

What caused the death though?

The Sister reluctantly helps out, but then they make a very big discovery.

What do they find?

They need help and find some very insistent people to do just that.

Is this motley crew up to the task?

Nearby, a former Child Star makes some plans of his own.

Why does nobody tell him that this is a bad idea?

Tired of my vague description?  Need to know what actually happens?

Then watch the Movie already.

It's Streaming, so get to it!

It's a really good Movie.  After Get Out, that probably didn't seem necessary.

In the time since, however, people have had a far more mixed view of Mr. Peele and his work, whether it was Us (which is also great), stuff he helped Produce- like Candyman- or his Twilight Zone adaptation.

It's still really good.  Personally, I've been on board with all of it (although I haven't seen Season 2 of his TZ).

Nope is a Film that seems a bit disjointed...until suddenly it isn't.  The seemingly random B-Plot involving Gordie, as well as little bits like how the Audition goes poorly (see below) all matter.  I actually watched this last week and wanted to let my opinion simmer/stew for a bit a bit.

The more I thought about it, the big moments, the little moments and everything in between, the more I really liked it.

I want to say more, but I also don't want to SPOIL anything for you.  Just watch it.

I'll close with a rare case of what *looks* like a Behind the Scenes Shot...but is actually in the Movie.  Psych!

A common description is that it is 'Jaws Meets Close Encounters.'  Say- I just bought a copy of that last Film recently.  Hmm...

4,800th Post: Daredevil- the 2004 Director's Cut

 At long last, a 20-year-old Film is redeemed.  Well, mostly.

2003's Daredevil was not received well, failing in comparison to the then-recent Spider-Man Film.  Even today, he has to Guest-Star in the latest Spider-Man Film- the same one that brought back Tobey Maguire to boot.

In 2004, the Writer-Director - Mark Steven Johnson- was allowed to put his Director's Cut out on DVD.  I heard that it vastly improved the Film.

In 2023, I finally got around to watching it.  Was it a real improvement?
Let's find out...

As a refresher, Daredevil is Matt Murdock.

He fights crime to avenge the honor of his father, who was killed for not throwing a fight.

When the chemicals blinded him, they gave him heightened senses, including the ability to 'see' the world via a sonic radar.

Since I'm covering a Cut that's just under 30 minutes longer, it's not really a full review, so let's bring this Segment back...

Should You Bother?

The main thing cut from the Theatrical Version- supposedly at the last minute- is a Subplot involving a man- Coolio! - accused of murder.

He was found passed out at the Scene but says that he is innocent.

Matt and Foggy investigate the Scene of the crime- which isn't watched by the Cops?- and he finds a written clue that will come in handy later.

Mixed in with the main Plot, a Cop testifies to Coolio's guilt and he's...also telling the truth?

Yes, Matt's lie detector- he hears your heartbeat- says that both are telling the truth.

How can that be?

In a curious change, a key Scene plays out VERY differently in this Cut.

In the Theatrical Cut, Matt goes to leave Elektra to stop a mugging, with one happening a few Scenes back.  She gets him to stay, and they spend the night together.

In the Director's Cut, he goes to leave Elektra to stop a mugging...and actually does.  He has to apologize for it later, which was obviously cut from the Theatrical Version.

We get 2 Court Room Scenes- including a brief comedy reprieve between the death of Mr. Nachios and the Funeral- and Matt finally confronts the Cop.

As it turns out, he has a pacemaker, which fooled Matt's senses.

Journalist Benn Urich- who was working the case- helps out our Heroes and gets the evidence from the Cop.

They get Coolio off at the end and he also gives the Police the lead they need to get Fisk.

You see, Fisk's Assistant was the actual culprit of said Murder and they flipped him.

So, in summary, they give you THE ENTIRE STORY and it all makes sense.  Who'd have guessed?

Verdict: Yes.  

It fills in the gaps of the Story nicely, without feeling too slow with the new content.

Apparently, this Cut is the most common one people see around.  So, in a way, this Cut seems to have won out in the end.

If you, like me, only remember the Theatrical Cut- I actually saw it in Theaters-, check this out!

Tubi Thursday: Evil in the Time of Heroes (2009)

 After over a Decade of remembering a Film (kind of) that I saw long ago, the Sequel ended up on Tubi.  

Is it any good?

As a refresher, in 2005 we got a Greek Zombie Film with a super-low budget and lots of gore.

In the Film, a bunch of random people meet up, fight zombies and then run from zombies.  It ends with them running into a Soccer Stadium and we see a swarm of the undead coming!

At the beginning of this Film, we see thrm barricade themselves in at the Stadium, say 'This is not good' and then...a Graphic says '10 Minutes Later.'

Next we see them outside and they steal a car.  Oh...alright.

So much for 4 years of build-up.

We cut back to Ancient Greece and see a zombie outbreak...out of nowhere.

A bunch of Greek Soldiers we just met died and then they cut back to the Present.

Confused?

Our Heroes must deal with a few big things...

People exploiting the event to kill people.

A new group of Survivors.
A guy coming back from the dead with no explanation.

Oh, and they cut back to a sudden Billy Zane appearance in Ancient Greece...and now he's wandering around int the Present.

Can they fend off the Zombie Hordes?

Can they get out of Athens before it is too late?

Do we need a 20th Character to have a Sub-Plot?

To find out this- and how to serve a good fried egg while fending for your life-, watch the Film.

It's...something.  So, I made the mistake of perusing the IMDB User Reviews for this one and they are mixed.  Here's a common refrain: if you're not Greek, you won't get the humor.

That's...an excuse, right?  Someone can't write Comedy, and everyone says that it is just something you'd have to be 'Greek' to get.
Yeah, no.

Regional Humor aside, the Film is chock full of some good things and so many bad things.

The good things- fun Zombie gore and Billy Zane.
The bad things- Too many Characters, bad Writing, the Greek Stuff not being its own Story, suddenly introducing magic, ignoring their previous ending, making the worst Lead the most important, giving one guy superpowers right before the end, 'fridging' their Female Characters, jumping between the Time Periods at random, a silly revelation at the end and a bad Ending.

I wanted to like this.
It is bad.
Don't get up.

On the plus side, all of the Actors 'worked for free,' so nobody was overpaid.  Someone translate that into Greek for the Director to read now.

Lost in Translation: The Golden Child

 It was fun to revisit the Eddie Murphy Film after so many years since my last viewing.

So, naturally, I just *had* to look for some Foreign Poster goodness.

Dark Horse pick for best source Poland comes up to bat with this lovely thing...

...I mean, credit where credit is due- someone really spent allot of time on this one.

They really thought through what *they* thought the key takeaways were.

That said, they turned Charles Dance into Anton LeVey like he was in a Jodorowsky movie.

Some good work here- just for a completely different movie!

'90s Trash: The Wasp Woman (1995)

 Before I do a long-needed Omnibus for a Series of Corman-adjacent Films, I need to check this one off of the list.

Do you remember a Film called The Wasp Woman?  Neither do I.
That 1959 Film was Remade in 1995- weird number flip there, no?  Does that mean that a descendant of George Lucas will remake Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in 2080?  Sign me up!

The Plot involves a woman dealing with aging in the only logical way possible- injecting herself with an experimental formula.  This is before Botox became a thing, so that tracks!

As you can guess from the Title, things don't go well.  Will this Showtime-produced Remake go better?  To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, a random lady decides to ignore a warning about Wasps in the area to go on a jog...in that looks like a one-piece bathing suit.  Okay.

She's killed, so is she the Title Character?

Nope.   None of that mattered- at all.

The actual Title Character is this Model/Business Owner who shows off her own products, but is, gasp, aging.

She hears the Assistant Photographer bad-mouthing her and... just kind of gets sad.

On top of that, they need an Investor- for reasons unexplained- and he also wants a 'new, fresh face' for the brand.

That guy on the right is a classic That Guy Actor, most notably for being in lots of Jim Wynorski Films.

A Scientist is testing some sort of formula involving yadda yadda wasp venom yadda yadda reversing aging.  Do you really think that tracks?

Our Heroine is interested, but wants concrete proof, so he tests it on an alley cat.

Said cat becomes a kitten within a day, so she agrees to help fund the research...and test it on herself.

Unbeknownst to her, said kitten has now become...giggle...a cat-wasp (basically a big, furry wasp).

It *kind of* attacks the guy who was mean to it once and was bringing in the Wasps to test on (and the only connection to that random Opening Kill).

Said attack makes him swerve...and another car swerves and a big explosion?!?

Within a couple of days, the serum works on our Heroine and everyone fawns over her new (read: actual face without make-up) look.

At a bar, she runs across the guy who called her old-looking and takes him home for 'snoo-snoo.'

She transforms- in a very 90s way, it happens via digital morphing- into a full-on Wasp Woman!

She goes on a slow, but steady ramage of killing the men in her life that were kind of awful to her.

That includes her Second-in-Command (who tried to steal secrets) and the Investor guy.

Her great and helpful boyfriend- who's also named Alec- knows that something is wrong and manages to stop her from killing the young Model they hired to replace her.

They say that they will figure things out.

The End?

Nope- she decides to go after the Assistant (who she once imagined was hitting on Alec) and tries to kill her...in a Cave. 
Just go with it.

She realizes how much she has done and changed as the duo run from her...before the Assistant runs back with dynamite to blow her up.

What a pal. 
The End.

Was it great?  No, it's a Jim Wynorski Creature Feature that was made for Showtime.
Was it good?  Same answer.

That's not to say that there was NOTHING good here.  There was some stuff to like.

Jennifer Rubin- when she's not turning into a monster- is good here, playing both sad and over-the-moon happy at different times.  The Actors all do a good to decent job here.

The big draw is, of course, the Special Effects.  I appreciated the use of Practical F/X to make the creature.  That morph- while not terrible- does date the Film quite a bit.  Other than the fact that they gave the giant Wasp cleavage, it's quite nice.

I take alot of issues with the logistics here.  Why does she never transform partway- like growing antennae or wings- and only fully into a creature?  Would that transition effect be too expensive?

Another little issue- the Soundtrack.  They have like 2 pieces of 'dramatic music,' so it gets kind of tiresome to hear by the end.

All in all, the Film is about what you'd expect.  They throw in random 'Skinemax' Sex Scenes that are otherwise pointless, tell a silly Plot and nobody learns anything.  Oh, Hi Director!

Next up, let's return to form.  Let's see what I can dig up.  Stay tuned...