Tubi Thursday: Jurassic Reborn (2025)

 Let's jump from Fox/Disney properties over to Universal ones.

When we got Jurassic World: Rebirth in Theaters, we got this at home...

On an Island somewhere, people started making baby Raptors- as you do.

They grew too fast, however, because something something Science and now everyone needs to escape.

Our Heroes must flee from usually-off-camera Raptors to get outside and then- hopefully- to the mainland.

En route is the bad guy- Adam Baldwin- and he's here to collect the Dinosaurs.

Since they never did it for their Jurassic World 1 rip-off, he's going to sell them as weapons.

Please enjoy the one docked boat they Film in front of.

Our Heroes get split up and we learn that one of them is a traitor, selling them out to Baldwin.

It's the guy here, which is different from Jurassic World: Rebirth...

...since that guy WAS the main Villain (aka Baldwin), but also went on the Island and dressed nearly identical.

This is what happens when you see a Trailer and go 'Make that, but cheaper!'

On the plus side, their lone Raptor model looks good.

Can our Heroes escape the Island?
How likely is it that Baldwin gets eaten?

Will they introduce a 2nd kind of Dinosaur?

To find out, stream it now.

They are up to 12 feet long, depending on the Scene.

A pretty so-so affair, but at least it's not false advertising.

Obviously, any fan of The Asylum (or at least someone like me) knows that they can do CGI Dinosaurs with relative ease, so no need to cheat.

The Plot is pretty basic and it does the same few tricks over and over again.

Imply Raptors behind doors/around corners (because CGI ain't cheap).
Cut from Actors to full CGI shot of somewhere and hope that we think that they are connected.
Raptors that only slowly walk up or leap at you.

Melodrama milked by having people left behind/sacrificing themselves.

Was Rebirth a great Film?  Not really, but I don't hate it either.
Is Reborn a great Film?  Objectively no, but it's so middle of the road that it doesn't stand out.

It's pretty average and the kind of Film that would just film its Actors in, say, The Asylum's Parking Lot and hope that you don't notice.

Why does the Secret Lab have paved spots and Reserved Parking Signs?

A Film that isn't great, but does give you what you'd expect.  If you're expecting anything amazing or unique, go elsewhere.