Fairly Tale: Red Riding Hood (2011)

 Never has a Tagline said so much as this...
'From the Director of Twilight.'

Look- dunking on Twilight is easy.  It's also fun.
That said, the Film led to many similar Films being greenlit and this sure is one of them.

A year before Snow White and the Huntsman AND Mirror Mirror, this one told an 'updated' version of a Fairy Tale.

Only it doesn't.  Little elements exist, but it is not REALLY that tale.

To find out how a Film about a little girl in peril in the Woods became a Twilight-style love-triangle Horror Romance, read on...

The Film tells the tale of a Village in the middle of the Woods.

They sacrifice their livestock to feed a dangerous Wolf from the nearby Woods.

Our Heroine- Amanda Seyfried- is caught in a love triangle between, say it with me, the Safe but Boring Hunk and the Dangerous, Bad Boy Hunk.

Things get worse when a human victim of the Wolf is made.

It is Seyfried's Sister!

This will both make more and less sense by the End.

They go out to kill the Wolf and one of the men dies.  Do you care which one it is?

They celebrate...until Gary Oldman comes in to kill the buzz.

He's a Werewolf Hunter (not the Film) and tells them that the Werewolf is Within (also not the Film)!

The creature attacks again shortly, wreaking havoc in the middle of Town.

It is oddly similar to the Scene with the Romani in The Wolfman from a year earlier.  Hmm...I wonder...

In the middle of things, the Wolf (which is giant-sized a la Twilight) talks to Seyfried via...telepathy.

Weird.

Throughout the Film, they try to justify casting Julie Christie and giving her nothing really to do.

She appears in a few Dream Sequences (thanks for that pointlessness) and apparently is led by a random line to investigate the Wolf.

Oh and she lives out of Town, not that it factors much into the Plot.

Seyfried is pressed to confess to 'witchcraft' and is used as bait for the Wolf.

Oh and a mentally handicapped guy is killed for no reason.  Joy.

Will she be the next victime?

No, she's saved thanks to a complicated plan involving her Dad (aka Mustache Dad from Twilight) and both would-be boyfriends.

One vanishes during the events, making him a suspect.

EIGHTY MINUTES IN, she finally puts on the Hood and goes into the Woods to Grandma's House.

It's a trap!

Just like the Story (for once), the Wolf killed her.

Unlike the Story, the Wolf is actually her Dad.  He killed his Daughter...when he found out that she was not his.

The Bad Boy Hunk rushes to save the day, but gets bit before the Dad is killed.  Now he'll turn (like this Film).

Depending which Version you watch (as this was released TWO TIMES on DVD/Blu-Ray), Seyfried either waits for him to return...or waits for him to return with his baby.

The End.

Honestly, how is this even an Adaptation of the Story?

I'm all for playing with the Story or deconstructing it.  You can do weird stuff with a Wolf/Werewolf Film.
Here are literally three different examples.

You could do a weird or dark Film based on Red Riding Hood without changing 90% of it.  The 10% that is accurate involves her eventually wearing the Hood and saying the famous lines...in a Dream Sequence.

That's it.

Make a weird YA Romance involving Wolves or whatever.  Just don't make it based on a famous Tale and change all of it.

When Gary Oldman can't save you, things are bad.

It is not nearly the worst one of these, but it is VERY forgettable.  It's only been 2 days and blanking on Plot Points already.

Take us away, Shot that proves how much you aren't Twilight...

Next up, let's hop back to the tale of the Huntsman...but not Snow White.  This one is either a Prequel, a Sequel or both.  Nobody knew then and I'll find out now.  Stay tuned...