New Crap: The Curse of Robert (The Doll) (2016)

 Who is the real dummy- me or him?  The tale of a not-at-all-scary Doll has been turned into a Series of Films, so let's look at the second one...

As a reminder, this is Robert the Doll.
He resides in a Museum in Key West, Florida.

I haven't visited him yet.  Should I?

This is Robert the (Movie) Doll.  

He looks like a cross between Chucky and the old Bucs Coach who they said looked like Chucky.
He resides in a Museum in Swansea, England.

Our Story involves a quartet of people working at the Museum.

It all happens at night for a few reasons...

1) Atmosphere

2) Lazy Writing

3) No Budget to show actual people in the Museum.

Seriously, not one Scene that I can recall showing this REAL Museum full of people going by the Robert the Doll Exhibit that they must have set up for the Film!

As deaths start to pile up in the Film's small Cast (I counted 7 people of note), will they solve the mystery?

The two survivors try to clear their names (in spite of the lack of evidence) and look into the Doll's past.

Will the Mother help them?  Will they give her the same lazy backstory as the Mom from Child's Play 2?

On top of all that, what bizarre backstory will they suddenly add for the Doll and its Creator?

To find out, stream the Film.

Bad doll- stay in your chair!  This is really not great.  The idea of the Doll killing people- fine.  It is not original in the slightest, but its fine.  The execution is just where it suffers.  This is a Low-Budget Film in all of the worst ways.  They have no real Atmosphere, barely 2 Sets and no good effects.  In 2016, you can't make a Doll appear to be moving in full-frame.  When I'm watching a Puppet Master Film from like 1987, I get it.  We are way past that point though!  The Doll only moves when half of it is not visible- it's just sad.  The Doll also doesn't look that great.  The kills are pretty lackluster, since they rely on all sorts of camera and story cheats to work.  How can the Doll overpower a grown man?  Why does a woman recoil with no energy from something she could easily kick over?  How does cutting one side of a neck instantly kill you?  Why does it take an hour for someone to fight back?  On top of that, the Film is padded more than a used mattress!  The Opening Credits take a good 5 minutes due to them just being shots of her driving to the Museum intercut with black Title Cards.  The Film actually ends a good 10 minutes before it truly does, if that makes sense.  The Story is over...so now let's watch a guy walk in real time to sell the Doll to a guy.  As you can see above, the Budget didn't go into that terribly-fake-looking old age make-up used either.  Oh great- a Prequel.  Here's hoping that it ends up being the best Film yet (low bar, admittedly) like with Puppet Master.  Oh and there's a real danger Google Image Searching for Robert the Doll- you often get insane stuff like this!

A really dull, drawn out Film that didn't look like it had any Budget.  These things can be fun...if they try and get creative.  Too bad.