Another Film I’ve neglected for a long time. Is it a hidden gem or a CGI mess? Let’s see...
A lovely, peaceful Planet enjoying life is seen.
Yeah, they’re doomed...30 years before the Story begins.
Agents Valerian and Laureline are on the case- just not that one. It involves an inter dimensional market, some goggles and...yeah, I got nothing.
Oh and we get a 1-line Cameo from Rutger Haeur. Thanks?
Things get weird when Valerian gets visions from that Planet and saves their weird pearl-secreting CGI aardvark thing.
$200 million well spent.
The story gets sidetracked by nonsense several times and this is the right reaction.
Oh look- it’s Clive Owen.
Using the Scooby-Doo Rule, he’s clearly the bad guy. His chrome black murder bots might be a hint too.
Can they see past the nonstop neon CGI to save the day?
To find out, watch the Film.
A bizarre, overly-long Film. The money spent here clearly shows. That said, I had clear fatigue from all the shiny, fake visuals. It’s like eating nothing but candy for 2 hours straight- I do it but my body doesn’t like it after the 27th time. The Plot drops in and out like a narcoleptic chimney sweep. It stops at least 3x too many. Now here’s the big thing- the Casting. Dane and Cara are surely nice people, but they have no chemistry- at all. When they are separated, they fare little better. Dane is no Han Solo. Cara is no Wonder Woman. On top of that, Rihana gets a dramatic Character Arc- nuff said. It looks nice...for a while, but is shallow. When you take away the CGI, there’s just not much there...
Yeah, they’re doomed...30 years before the Story begins.
Oh and we get a 1-line Cameo from Rutger Haeur. Thanks?
$200 million well spent.
Using the Scooby-Doo Rule, he’s clearly the bad guy. His chrome black murder bots might be a hint too.
To find out, watch the Film.
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