At long last, it...isn't good. Today's Film is Ratman, a Film sold to me entirely by its Poster. I read up a little on it and thought 'This should be good- in a bad way, of course.' I downloaded and just kept putting it off. It wasn't even that much of a conscious thing- it just happened. Well, I finally watched it. It sucks. It mostly sucks in that bad way, but I'll still make the most of it. The Plot- a Scientist has created a Human/Rat/Monkey hybrid for...no clear reason. Yes, he's called Ratman, even though he could easily be Monkey Man, Rat Monkey Man or, my favorite, Man Monkey Rat. It's mostly the best to me since it reminds me of Man Mountain Rock- Google him. Naturally, he/it escapes and kills people. That's basically it, really. The Lead Character is played by a Little Person in fairly-silly, but scary enough make-up. Nelson de la Rosa- who died in 2006- only has 3 Credits on IMDB. If he looks familiar to you in any way, it is because he was the little mutant man in The Island of Dr. Moreau (and the Character the clearly inspired Mini-Me). His life outside of Films is almost more interesting as 1) he's credited as the world's smallest Actor at 2'4"(being 4 inches shorter than Verne Troyer) and 2) he was apparently the 'lucky charm' of a Red Sox Player (as a big fan, apparently) during the Year they won the World Series! It's all thanks to Big Papi and Little Nelson. Oh and for all of you Italian Film Nerds like me, the Script was partly-written by Dardano Sacchetti. That will mean nothing to like 90% of the people that read this, I know. With all of that interesting stuff out of the way, here's the Film...
This guy has been experimenting with Rats and other Animals. He decides to mix the genes of a Rat, a Monkey and a Man. Thus the Title Character is born.
...and he's escaped.
The secondary focus of the Film is built around some boring Models, a Photographer and others that interact with them.
In true Law & Order fashion, they stumble across a body. In this case, however, it was apparently covered in Chef Boyardee.
The Film from this point on meanders a bit by mostly introducing more random Characters and then killing off the ones that they are 'done with.'
Case in point: our Male Lead is abruptly found dead in bed. Don't worry, they have 2 spares.
I should also note that the best Print available is very washed out- as I'm sure you can tell- so stuff like the blood looks faker than ever.
On the plus side, Ratman hides in a fridge for a jump scare. Brilliant!
After killing all but one of our Female Leads and Male Lead #3, he hides in a bag, kills a Cop and gets taken on a plane by our Heroes- thanks to a Cop who can't see a body and blood right in front of him!- to, I guess, kill again.
The End.
The definition of Euro Trash. If you like sleazy, Italian Slasher/Giallo Films, this one has it all. The Female Leads are Models, so you get Nudity. The Male Leads are macho tough guys (that get killed by a man shorter and lighter than my Bookshelf) that try to 'protect' the Women. Twice in the Film they find a dead lady body and don't let the Woman see it- since it is 'too much.' It also helps you not have to do as much make-up work too! The killer is a weird, trashy delight. It is a bit of Exploitation, as Nelson had a legitimate disorder, so you made him a monster in a bit of a reverse Tor Johnson kind of way. There is a whole lot of blood in this one, even if it looks fake as hell. For some people, that is a positive. I should also note that this Version I found is washed out, a bit blurry (enough that I asked Bob if I *needed* to blur out the below Screen Cap) and only with the English Dub. Would it be a great Film with a good Print and the native language? No. I just always want things to be better- even if you are still Ratman. The bottom line is if you're not into this kind of thing, it will do nothing to sway you. If you are, you will probably get some enjoyment out of it. It is no Argento Film though. Oh you're a nasty voyeur, Ratman...
This guy has been experimenting with Rats and other Animals. He decides to mix the genes of a Rat, a Monkey and a Man. Thus the Title Character is born.
...and he's escaped.
The secondary focus of the Film is built around some boring Models, a Photographer and others that interact with them.
In true Law & Order fashion, they stumble across a body. In this case, however, it was apparently covered in Chef Boyardee.
One of the Models is leaving a Bar the next night and is chased by a stranger. She hides in a Closet...only to be killed by the hiding Ratman.
While I give this one a bit of a pass, the Film never adequately explains how NOBODY can fend him off. At this point, Nelson weighed around 20lbs!
That said, that face is freaky.The Film from this point on meanders a bit by mostly introducing more random Characters and then killing off the ones that they are 'done with.'
Case in point: our Male Lead is abruptly found dead in bed. Don't worry, they have 2 spares.
I should also note that the best Print available is very washed out- as I'm sure you can tell- so stuff like the blood looks faker than ever.
On the plus side, Ratman hides in a fridge for a jump scare. Brilliant!
After killing all but one of our Female Leads and Male Lead #3, he hides in a bag, kills a Cop and gets taken on a plane by our Heroes- thanks to a Cop who can't see a body and blood right in front of him!- to, I guess, kill again.
The End.
The definition of Euro Trash. If you like sleazy, Italian Slasher/Giallo Films, this one has it all. The Female Leads are Models, so you get Nudity. The Male Leads are macho tough guys (that get killed by a man shorter and lighter than my Bookshelf) that try to 'protect' the Women. Twice in the Film they find a dead lady body and don't let the Woman see it- since it is 'too much.' It also helps you not have to do as much make-up work too! The killer is a weird, trashy delight. It is a bit of Exploitation, as Nelson had a legitimate disorder, so you made him a monster in a bit of a reverse Tor Johnson kind of way. There is a whole lot of blood in this one, even if it looks fake as hell. For some people, that is a positive. I should also note that this Version I found is washed out, a bit blurry (enough that I asked Bob if I *needed* to blur out the below Screen Cap) and only with the English Dub. Would it be a great Film with a good Print and the native language? No. I just always want things to be better- even if you are still Ratman. The bottom line is if you're not into this kind of thing, it will do nothing to sway you. If you are, you will probably get some enjoyment out of it. It is no Argento Film though. Oh you're a nasty voyeur, Ratman...
Next time, I try to cover another Film that I've put off/forgotten for even longer. Do me right, Japan! Stay tuned...
No comments:
Post a Comment