Fred Oh-Lord Ray: Air Rage

I guess it's a step above Rage in a Cage.  Today's film is Air Rage, a lovely bit of DTV Action from Fred Olen Ray.  He sure makes a lot of this shit!  The film was a *steal* at $2.99.  Thanks, Action Clearance Section at Moviestop!  The film is an amazing exercise in just how much work you must do to be lazy.  Confused?  Essentially, the film's plot picks and chooses major or minor plot points from Action Films made in the years before this film's 2001 release year.  I'll highlight the aspects stolen here and there throughout the film.  Notable Cast Members include Ice-T as the Star and Gil Gerard as Random Mean General Guy.  It's pretty standard fare, but I'll try to get my (small amount of) money's worth for this review.  To find out how much you can 'be inspired by' at once, read on...

This Colonel is being sent to Jail for leading his Unit to blow up some bad guys after a mission gone awry.  This makes him...mad, I guess.

His men break him out.  That makes him happy.

That's the look of a man that just found out that Uncle Grandpa was cancelled.  Lucky bastard.

He sneaks on a commercial airline (this was still slightly-pre-9/11), he goes on a mission to get some General on the plane.  That makes him...pensive.  He's not good at emotions, you know.

The group take over the plane.  That makes this plot a weird mix of The Rock (with the former Soldiers gone rogue), Die Hard 2 (only with the bad guys controlling the actual plane itself) and Turbulence, with a dash of Turbulence 2.  More on that film later though.

Ice-T FINALLY shows up over half an hour into the film.  He's a Commando that's going to lead a rescue mission in mid-air.

Yeah, it's Executive Decision.  Unlike that film, he doesn't die in an over-dramatic fashion.

Summon the grainy Stock Footage of Military Planes!  This totally matches!

Ice-T's team is actually killed pretty quickly, proving that they would have failed out of the Epilogue of Modern Warfare 2 within seconds.

Don't worry- Ice-T survives, but apparently just kind of passed out from his non-fatal leg wound (which would be very fatal in real life).

As it turns out, the Colonel isn't out for revenge against the General (who convicted him).  He's after a Disc that he's carrying.  It contains...a list and description of every known undercover operative in the World!

Yeah, it's the NOC List from Mission: Impossible.  Sigh.

The villain is stopped and held at gunpoint by the General's Assistant.  However, he pulls an off-camera double-cross, which is right out of Turbulence 2.

With Ice-T wounded, the final fight with the bad guy is done by our heroine.  It's a blatant rip-off of Turbulence.  Oh and watch for the wires when the guy is sucked out of the plane.

Don't worry, Ice-T doesn't die from his several wounds in every non-vital area of his body.

The day is saved in part by an Airport Tech, who's played by the original Detective from Law & Order.  I never thought that I'd see a Dick Wolf crossover in a film like this.  The End.

Consider this a gag gift.  Air Rage is a dumb, silly movie.  If you're looking for subtext, there is none.  If you are looking for subtlety, there is none.  If you are looking for original ideas, well, you get the idea.  When we get a sub-plot about the Government being willing to do whatever is necessary to take the plane down, Gil Gerard literally points a gun at a man's head to make him comply.  That kind of sums up the movie in alot of ways.  The whole thing is silly Action fare.  It's a step or two above Andy Sidaris films though, mind you.  It is the kind of stuff that they used to show on TNT on Saturday Afternoons.  Hell, it probably was!  In the End, it's a goofy, run-of-the-mill film that is a good for a laugh or two, provided that you have no shame.  Case in point: Fred Olen Ray isn't even Credited as the Director!

Next up, let's ring in the Holidays with a killer Jew dressed as a Germanic Character.  That's right- Santa is coming to Slay you.  Stay tuned...