'80s Trash: The Curse

Titles aren't really important, are they?  Today's film is The Curse, a film about...a meteor turning people into mutants.  Hmm...that's not much of a curse, is it?  There are four of these films, so I'm sure that they eventually get around to explaining it.  I've seen half of them...so we'll see.  This film is about a farm that is already down on its luck-the mid-80s were not a good time for farms in America- and manages to get even MORE bad luck.  Said bad luck involves a meteor, impure water and some 'lovely' apples.  Notable Cast Members include Claude Akins as the stern Stepfather, John Schneider as the guy who wanders into this mess and Wil Wheaton as the Step-Son.  It also features his Sister as, you guessed it, his Sister.  "Hey Sis- I got us a job!  You get to hang out on a Farm, get threatened by a monster and attacked by Chickens!"  Who could say 'no' to that?  The film is not notable for much else, so let's see what we can make of this film that 'inspired' three 'Sequels.'  To find out why there's no curse in The Curse, read on...

In the Prologue, a man is arrested for no clear reason.  As he is driven away, he freaks out when he sees people drinking/enjoying water.

The film then jumps back to 6 Months earlier, since telling a film in order is for losers!

In the Present (of the film), Wil is living on a Farm with his new Stepdad and jerk of a Stepbrother.  Well, it could be worse.

For example...

A Meteor- which is apparently attached to a metal rod (hmmm)- strikes the farm.  They are a bit bothered, but are having money woes, so they decide to press on.

Unfortunately, the Meteor melts- yes, you read that right- and gets into their water supply.  This makes subtle transformations in the family and changes in the food.  The Mom is hit by this the worst (somehow).  Here's her about 25 minutes into the film...

...and this is her about an hour or so into the film.  Damn, son!

Schneider plays a guy from Tennessee Valley Authority who shows up to possibly build a Dam nearby.  He's lead around town by the place's corrupt Lawyer, before he finally goes to the House and nearly gets killed by the mutating mamma.

Hmm...is Mutating Mamma taken?  If not, I have a Screenplay to write!

The Town Doctor- and 1/8 of the Cast, apparently- checks the water and finds that it is all sorts of messed up!  The Dad finally starts to mutate- since we're at the Climax- and acts evil...well, more evil.

In a blatant rip-off of The Shining, he shows up to help, only to take an axe in the back and get killed.  At least you're stealing from good stories!

The Climax is here, so people start to mutate more, people die and a model house collapses.

Oh, I mean their house collapses.  I don't know why I would think that it was a small-scale model.  Right...

In the Epilogue, we see that the Government has covered up the incident and taken in the guy from the TVA.  What happened to the kids is apparently not important enough to tell us!

I'm also not clear why this guy is covered in bandages.  Weird.

Finally, a bunch more meteors apparently strike the Earth, leading to...um, more mutants, I guess.

I'll just put this in the category with the unresolved dark ending to Children of the Corn 3.  Plus, Children of the Corn 5, Children of the Corn 6(66), Children of the Corn 8 (Genesis) and the 2009 Remake.   They...didn't know how to follow up on stories.

Oh right, The End.

This is a weird film.  I mean, just consider it as the sum of its parts.  It's about a family on a farm.  It's about a meteor striking Tennessee (that nobody seems to notice).  It's about mutant fruits/vegetables, plus killer farm animals.  A little girl is attacked by killer chickens.  A man tries to hide the effects of a meteor crash to help him get a Dam built nearby.  This whole thing is just a random series of things thrown together and called a movie plot.  Our hero- Wheaton- is proactive, but ultimately does very little.  The other hero- the Doctor- is very proactive, but, again, his efforts lead to very little in the long run.  In the End, this is a weird series of scenes that eventually lead to mutants on a farm.  In between, you get a mix of melodrama, random mutated animals/monsters and an exploding tomato.  Does that make a good movie?  That's up to you.

Next up, do you hate your hand?  Well, if your hand is turning into a snake, you would too.  Stay tuned...