Thursday, June 13, 2013

Moon *Not* Over Tha Hood: Killjoy 3

This clown is a joke.  Today's film is Killjoy 3, the final film (that I own).  It took 8 years to get this one made, so hopefully it was time well spent.  Spoiler Alert: it wasn't.  This is an odd one and represents an issue that Full Moon has.  The film tries to be funny, but also really dark.  The result: a mess.  This film has no real sense of identity other than being a cut-and-past Full Moon film.  What does it add?  It adds a bunch of new villains and the house from Doll Graveyard.  Much like spotting re-used Asylum locations (i.e. the Woods from about 10 films), it's sad that I can spot a location like that damn house.  The biggest addition is the extra clown villains.  They're...pretty worthless.  They're obviously there to add variety and potential toy releases in the future.  If that's the only reason to introduce characters, just don't.  Seriously, don't.  The film introduces an entirely new set of rules for Killjoy, as he's no longer summoned by someone's spell or voodoo magic.  Just like the Warlock series, consistency is not key here.  To see how this series ends (for me, anyhow), read on...
Killjoy shows up very early here as he's summoned by some guy to do wrong.  He's a God of Vengeance...or something.

My first big gripe: the rubber horns they use are constantly shaking.  Bad movie- bad!
The new clowns includes this Chinese mime and Harley Quinn...I mean, Harley Quinn.

Seriously, he's The Joker and she's Harley Quinn.  TRY HARDER!
In the Doll Graveyard house, a bunch of schmucks show up and find a magic mirror.  Killjoy needs to kill them with this to...um, be stronger or something.  Why set things up for the main plot when you can cram it in at the end.
Among Killjoy's antics is having the fat guy fight the fat clown in a boxing match.  This goes on way too long and just sets up some lame Nightmare on Elm Street imagery.  Oooh, you're so clever.
The next girl to go on is just caught...off-camera and used as bait.  I'd find this imagery funnier if there wasn't an actual fetish based around *fake* basting and cooking women.

Seriously, that is a real thing.  Look it up.
This black guy shows up to help.  His way of helping is sending them into the mirror and...just sort of being captured.  You're super-helpful, dude!
He stands by while basted girl is killed (in a traumatic scene ruined by goofy imagery) and our heroes fight the clowns.  The Mime guy has a baby that he launches at the fat guy.  That's...funny?
As it turns out, the old guy was being useless as part of his plan to make Killjoy use up his power and make him easy to take out.  It almost works but...well, I won't bother to explain the silly resolve there.
One heroine survives and she ends up in an Asylum.  So, basically, you ripped off the ending to a much-older Full Moon film- Tourist Trap.  Great.  The End.
The third time is not the...you know the rest.  What's new here is not that great and what's old here is nothing special either.  The new characters are one-note at best.  Like I said, they just serve to pace out the action.  Given how one-dimensional they are, they just serve to make the point about how bad the Writing is here all the more obvious.  You want a sample of the film's humor?  They hold the Magic Mirror and it has a sign on it that says 'Property of the Evil Queen.'  Ha ha ha?  I get the joke, but you couldn't be bothered to even use the character's real name?  That would show some creativity...and you blew it.  The Third Act Twist is kind of interesting, but it's too little too late.  By this point, you've had to suffer through the silly boxing match, the Harley Quinn lady humping our hero and our Final Girl dressed up as a belly dancer for no good reason.  This film really just drained away what little could have been salvaged with the Killjoy character's unique identity and just made him into another Full Moon heavy.  Let's end my look at this character in the most fitting way possible- with a fart joke.
Next up, we jump back to the 1990s with an early Shane Black film.  Will this Boy Scout earn a modern Merit Badge?  Stay tuned...

1 comment:

  1. Whats up with the baby?! What does it do??? And the fat guy is like umm...... nice bloody baby.......

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