Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Dei: The Frankenstein Theory

Let me just be honest: I really didn't want to watch Invisible Dad.  I was planning to watch it...but eventually realized that it was a terrible idea.  Instead, I chose to do a Frankenstein film.  After all, he's certainly the most famous 'fathers' in the world of Horror after all.  He creates life and what does he get in return?  Usually killed in some dramatic manner- that's what.  So what Frankenstein film to do?  How about the newest one- The Frankenstein Theory?  What could go wrong?  From the Creators of The Last Exorcism?  Damn.  It's a Found Footage film?  Double damn!  This NEARLY made the cut for Project Terrible, but I decided that I wanted to see an Asylum Found Footage Film- Alien Origin- *slightly* less, so I took it instead.  What's the film about?  A man believes that Mary Shelly's Frankenstein was based on real events.  He thinks that a long-dead relative created it and that the creature still lives.  Why he thinks that is certainly up for debate.  This movie has one major, glaring issue: recognizable Actors.  Do I believe that Found Footage Films are real?  Of course not.  Can I at least suspend disbelief if, for example, Brad Pitt was playing one of the 'real' people?  Hell no.  Oh and this film really wants to be Trollhunter.  It's not.  To find out what it is, read on...
A Science Major who has been kicked out for his crazy theory: that Frankenstein's Monster is real.  To that end, he hires a film crew to, you know, what...SPOILER ahead
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The Monster is not as cool as the box art makes it look.  This is what it looks like.
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Okay, SPOILER is gone.

Instead of focusing on the plot (which is generic as hell), let's focus on the weird stuff.  For example, the fact that there is B-Roll in this Found Footage Film.
 Moments later, the Crew seems to be outright stalking their new Boss to get B-Roll.  How?  Why?  Who Edited this shit?
The Crew travels to Canada (actually Alaska) and teams up with a local Hunter who knows the territory.
Raise your hand if you recognized the guy from Trollhunter.  This is so cut & paste that some of you may not.

Instead of giving out any real SPOILERS (as if you can't guess this movie minute-by-minute), let me end by focusing on the best character in the film.
No, not that annoying douche bag.  He's...he's just an insult to the idea of Comic Relief.

No, the best character is this guy: Angry Black Guy Almost Hit by a Car.  He's intense, real and only in the movie for about 30 seconds.  He's the best!  The End.
It's a shit, Found Footage Film.  What do I need to say besides that?  The movie uses cheap excuses to not show the action.  The movie is paced poorly.  The movie is full of annoying, filler characters.  I didn't care about any of them.  Now, let's not be totally negative for a moment.  The Acting overall is not bad.  The problem is that the material they have to work with is just not that good.  I don't blame most of these people for how they turned out.  Here's another gripe: this is not exactly from 'The Creators of The Last Exorcism.'  One of the Writers of that film is an Executive Producer on this film.  So yeah, kind of a lie.  In summary, this film sucks.  My feelings are truly expressed via Angry Black guy Almost Hit by a Car...
Up next, I actually review Dragon Wars: D-War.  Let's see if D-War: Dragon Wars is as bad as they say.  Stay tuned...

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for this... I almost watched this the other day. Now I never will. You are a real hero, sir.

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  2. I am an office and a gentleman. I watch crap, so that you don't have to.

    Thankfully, this job is its own reward, as I don't get paid nearly enough. :-)

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  3. It was okay to me. I've seen hundreds of horror/monster movies. Some of which were MUCH worse. I agree the monster could have been done better and could have been shown more but anyway, it is what it is.

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