Saturday, September 1, 2012

Reflections: Mirror Mirror (2012)

And now for something completely different!  Today's film is also called Mirror Mirror, but it is not about an evil mirror.  Well, there is a semi-evil mirror here, but that's not all that important.  This is actually one of TWO movies to do *updated* versions of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.  One of them is this movie, while the other is supposed to actually be good.  Screw that noise then (plus, it's not out on DVD yet)!  This movie walks a weird line, as it is billed as more-Adult version of the tale.  No, not like that, perverts!  The problem is that the other one- with 'Bella Swan'- is really that movie.  It has blood, guts and human sacrifice, plus monsters.  This one...is mostly just Snow White, but with a mildly-darker tone.  Regardless, it fit the title qualification, so I'm just going to go with it.  As it's a pretty new film, I'll just give you one of those Reviews-in-Pictures you all love.  Time to read on...
In a weird bit of animation- that could have actually made a whole movie- we see the happy life of the King and daughter.  He vanishes.

The country goes to crap as the new Queen- Julia Roberts- is in charge.  She dresses fabu-lously!
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The land is also plagued by mysterious bandits.  It's about as mysterious as why the sky is blue, but it's a mystery nonetheless.

On top of that, Snow White finds out about how bad things are.  Thankfully, a costume party- with Alice in Wonderland costumes...the hell- with Prince Charming will help soothe the situation.
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Situations turn around and Snow White ends up...battling the Prince.  That explains why he's so upset...or does it?

Will a random monster bring them back together?  To find out, watch the movie.  The End.
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Well, it's not bad actually.  I wasn't sure what to expect with this movie.  The fact that it came and went so quick is not a good sign.  Apparently, it grossed about $160 million with a budget of around $100 million.  So, it wasn't a flop, but it wasn't exactly lighting the world on fire.  In contrast, Snow White and the Huntsman grossed around $400 million, which is not too shabby (even with a bigger budget).  This is apparently a Tarsem Singh film, not that it had the visual flourish of Immortals (pretty, but dumb) or The Cell (weird and pretty, but dumb).  I honestly didn't realize that he Directed the film- I suck at reading Credits, I guess- until I started writing this.  So why hire Tarsem Singh if he's going to make a pretty average-looking movie?  The only aspect that really looks a Singh movie is the effect of the Queen walking through her Mirror and coming out of a magical lake.  It's neat, but pointless- classic Singh!  Speaking of which, the whole Mirror aspect is pretty minimal.  Even the idea behind it- it's an image of the Queen that taunts here- is pretty uninspired.  You couldn't make it her as a child, her as a monster, etc?  The big problem is the juxtaposition of reality- the peasants are taxed to near death to fund parties- and fantasy- Dwarves, magic and a monster.  There's one scene where a man covers up Snow White's death and says that he chopped all of her organs to fill up a paper bag.  Obviously, he didn't, but that's still pretty morbid for kids.  If you like your Snow White to be decent, but nothing more, see this movie.  Take us away, silly wigs...
Next up, a week full of random craziness from overseas.  First, however, I have to celebrate another, stupid holiday.  Stay tuned...

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