Are you ready for...nothing related to anything? So what is this movie about? Is it about returning characters from the previous film? No. Is it about someone rebuilding the famous Vampire Night Club from the first film? No. How is this a sequel to From Dusk 'Till Dawn then? Well, Danny Trejo is in a small part and there are Vampires, so...that's about it. Apparently Tarantino and Rodriguez signed on for this one, although their contribution is saying 'Go ahead' and getting their cut. I doubt that either of them even visited the set, unless Danny invited them. So what is this non-sequel about? Well, it's a mix of a Bank Robbery film and a Vampire Film. That's about as odd as combining a WWII Film and an Elvis Film (see Top Secret!). That's not to say that it's a terrible film, but...it has some problems. To find out more, read on...
In a pointless opening scene, Tiffany Amber-Thiessen and Bruce Campbell appear as Lawyers killed by vampires. This, however, is a film-within-a-film, so it's completely pointless. Moving on...
Robert Patrick is a Criminal who reforms his gang to do a Bank Job in Mexico. Yes, in Mexico, despite the subtitle being Texas Blood Money.
Yes, it is a small point, but it's still really stupid. I can't get over it- sorry.
Danny Trejo is here as a Bartender, but not as the same guy. You know, the guy that died in the first film.
He is, however, still a Vampire and turns the co-Leader of the gang. Bye, Danny Trejo!
Does it bug me that these Vampires look like Buffy rejects? Somewhat. I know they looked kind of like this in the other film...but I guess I was just ignoring it then. This time- not so much.
As the gang starts to rob the bank (in Mexico!), they are slowly turned into Vampires. It comes down to just Robert Patrick and his dopey friend. Work together, guys!
Never mind. Looks like its a battle for the ages. Are you ready?
In the only good part of the film, we get a nearly 20-minute action scene involving Cops fighting the four Vampires, who ignore bullets the way that Mitt Romney ignores 47% of America.
Ha ha ha- topical and random.
After some silly gun physics, silly fight physics and the world's longest Solar Eclipse (set up for two seconds early on), the Vampires die, our heroes name-drop a better Vampire film (The Fearless Vampire Killers) and the T-1000 goes off to...somewhere. The End.
Given this crap, is it any wonder why I take forever to write these? In all seriousness, the movie is not terrible. It's not, you know, good though either. The good parts- practical effects, real Vampire action (at the end) and a decent (if silly) climax. The bad- just about everything else. The story is stupid, the Acting is all over the map and the effects are mostly-silly. I like the prosthesis work...to an extent. Their CG effects are really dated and many of the effects are shot like Army of Darkness. Let me clarify that comment so that it doesn't sound like a compliment. Army of Darkness was made in 1991 and this film was made in 1999- it should look better. The worst part, to be honest, is the hokey camera angles used. The film is full of weird camera choices like filming from the bottom of a glass, filming between the loops of a rotary phone & moving the camera up and down to match the movements of one guy doing push-ups. Much like the picture-in-picture silliness from Dragon Fighter, it just adds nothing. It's a big distraction for an already silly movie. The film is kind of a weird one to recommend. It's a goofy movie with some good action (at the end), but is otherwise bad. If that doesn't do it for, this double-whammy of Goofs should make up your mind...
Next up, the other Dawn sequel. Will it be even less related...or a Prequel-Remake? Stay tuned...
In a pointless opening scene, Tiffany Amber-Thiessen and Bruce Campbell appear as Lawyers killed by vampires. This, however, is a film-within-a-film, so it's completely pointless. Moving on...
Robert Patrick is a Criminal who reforms his gang to do a Bank Job in Mexico. Yes, in Mexico, despite the subtitle being Texas Blood Money.
Yes, it is a small point, but it's still really stupid. I can't get over it- sorry.
Danny Trejo is here as a Bartender, but not as the same guy. You know, the guy that died in the first film.
He is, however, still a Vampire and turns the co-Leader of the gang. Bye, Danny Trejo!
Does it bug me that these Vampires look like Buffy rejects? Somewhat. I know they looked kind of like this in the other film...but I guess I was just ignoring it then. This time- not so much.
As the gang starts to rob the bank (in Mexico!), they are slowly turned into Vampires. It comes down to just Robert Patrick and his dopey friend. Work together, guys!
Never mind. Looks like its a battle for the ages. Are you ready?
In the only good part of the film, we get a nearly 20-minute action scene involving Cops fighting the four Vampires, who ignore bullets the way that Mitt Romney ignores 47% of America.
Ha ha ha- topical and random.
After some silly gun physics, silly fight physics and the world's longest Solar Eclipse (set up for two seconds early on), the Vampires die, our heroes name-drop a better Vampire film (The Fearless Vampire Killers) and the T-1000 goes off to...somewhere. The End.
Given this crap, is it any wonder why I take forever to write these? In all seriousness, the movie is not terrible. It's not, you know, good though either. The good parts- practical effects, real Vampire action (at the end) and a decent (if silly) climax. The bad- just about everything else. The story is stupid, the Acting is all over the map and the effects are mostly-silly. I like the prosthesis work...to an extent. Their CG effects are really dated and many of the effects are shot like Army of Darkness. Let me clarify that comment so that it doesn't sound like a compliment. Army of Darkness was made in 1991 and this film was made in 1999- it should look better. The worst part, to be honest, is the hokey camera angles used. The film is full of weird camera choices like filming from the bottom of a glass, filming between the loops of a rotary phone & moving the camera up and down to match the movements of one guy doing push-ups. Much like the picture-in-picture silliness from Dragon Fighter, it just adds nothing. It's a big distraction for an already silly movie. The film is kind of a weird one to recommend. It's a goofy movie with some good action (at the end), but is otherwise bad. If that doesn't do it for, this double-whammy of Goofs should make up your mind...
Next up, the other Dawn sequel. Will it be even less related...or a Prequel-Remake? Stay tuned...
Excellent narration and i couldn't stop laughing in couple of places.
ReplyDeleteYes, the 3rd installment was indeed a prequel and the clues for the same was left in the last scene of the 1st part.