Saturday, September 22, 2012

Rare Forgotten Sequels Flix: Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold

No Amityville 5 this week.  I'll get around to it- don't worry.

I could probably just make shit up and you wouldn't know the difference.  Today's film is Cleopatra Jones an the Casino of Gold.  Pop quiz: who is Cleopatra Jones?  Seriously, do you know?  Well, she's a Blaxploitation character who got two films...and that's it.  The first one- Cleopatra Jones.  What can I say- people weren't that creative with names in the '70s!  She's one of many women that got a film back in the day, be it Coffy or TNT Jackson.  Yeah, I watch that shit.  So what differentiates Cleopatra from the rest?  Well, she dresses in funny outfits and does fake Karate.  That's basically it.  In her second adventure, she goes to China and battles an evil drug lord to rescue her friends/fellow Agents.  To see whether this is an obscure gem or more like that thing your cat buries, read on...
These two 'soul brothers' go to China to make an Opium deal.  In an odd twist, they bring a briefcase full of bills that were cut in half.  That's...interesting.
A shoot-out occurs and they end up in the clutches of a rival Drug Dealer.  Will she keep them alive?
Leave it to Cleopatra Jones (in silly outfit #1) and...Norman Fell to get on the case.  That's certainly a unique pair, I'll give them that.
Here's a shocker: the villain in this Blaxploitation film is White.  I'd call it Racist...but we are sort of evil all of the time.  Points for you, Genre.
In lieu of explaining this thread-bare plot, I'd rather show the silly outfits that Cleopatra wears throughout the film.  You're not missing much.
I mean...what is this outfit?  Aren't you a spy?  Granted- you fit in about as well as Iman in China Town, but you could try a little!
Big shock- Cleopatra beats the white lady in a kung-fu fight.  Enjoy this silly kick that misses by a Chinese Country Mile.  The End.
It's exactly what you think it is.  To be fair, I expected Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold to be a silly, action-adventure.  It is exactly that.  I can't imagine that there was going to be any more than that.  There is not.  On the plus side, I was not disappointed.  On the negative side, there's literally nothing else to talk about.  Funny outfit, fight scene, fight scene.  Take me away, awkward smile.
Up next, a week of random films from my Queue (that I keep neglecting).  First up, a film about the end of the World...and my patience.  Stay tuned...

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