Ah, what a lovely flashback to my days as a Movie Theater Employee. Today's Film is Stealth, a 2005 Action Film from the Director of The Fast & The Furious. This is, of course, not to be confused with 2009's Fast & Furious, which was Directed by Justin Lin.
Poor Rob Cohen- even your big break is confusingly-hard to attribute to you.
Back in 2005, I was working my first real job at a Theater and remember this one being there. I had to walk in and out of the Theaters all day- a dream job, to be fair- so I saw all of it in 5 minute chunks over a month. Good times.
The Plot involves 3 Fighter Pilots and an AI joining their ranks. Naturally, it turns a bit evil- as they always do. That Roomba will kill you one day- mark my words! Can our Heroes- Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel and Jamie Foxx- save the day? To find out, read on...
The Film begins by breaking the Rule of 'Show, Don't Tell.'
Narration tells us that this is the 'near Future' (2016 according to IMDB) and 3 Pilots were picked to pilot these new Jets.
Was there a less lazy way to SHOW us this or did you forget to Film the Intro?
The trio do some very expensive War Games- no Matthew Broderick or Ric Flair to be found- to show us (and the Military Brass) how good they are with said Planes.
So, if you were wondering where the money to, say, improve Health Inspections in Meat Factories went, you're looking at it.
They get back to find that they have a new member of the team- an advanced AI (voiced by Wentworth Miller).
Also I guess there's a FOURTH PLANE that they didn't know about either.
Aren't these advanced Prototypes and they had the only 3?
They take out some Terrorists in Rangoon- which shows off Lucas' rebel spirit and strong piloting- and return to base.
En route, the AI's Plane- and only this one!- is struck by lightning!
This somehow makes it able to learn in a more advanced way, as lighting does.
They are sent to take out more Terrorists- remember, this was made when W. was still President- but there's a problem.
Taking out the weapons would cause radioactive fallout that would affect the nearby Village.
Our Heroes say 'no' to this one, but the AI does not and the Village suffers.
Our Heroes finally get orders to take out the rogue AI after it refuses to go back to Base. The Commander is reticent.
Unfortunately, the AI has learned quite well and tricks Foxx into firing a missile at a mountain while in pursuit. He's blinded by the blast and crashes into the rocks.
Yep, we just killed off the Oscar Winner- he hadn't won it when they shot this, to be clear- at the hour mark.
Biel was damaged, so must return to base. Unfortunately, her ship malfunctions in the wrong place and she must parachute to safety...in North Korea.
Save her,
Pulgasari!
Things take a few really odd turns now, so stay with me...
Just 10 minutes of Screen Time after the AI killed Foxx, Lucas and it team up to stop some Russian Jets.
A short while later, they agree to work together to save Biel...and that whole murder thing is forgotten.
On top of THAT, the Commander betrays them all to cover his ass, setting up Lucas to be killed by his men.
He takes the AI- which was to be deprogrammed- with him in the one good jet, the pair flying together like one of them didn't just kill the other's friend THAT VERY DAY.
More shoot-outs- in a Film about Fighter Jets- ensue and the AI sacrifices itself to save Biel and Lucas from a Helicopter.
Oh and the Commander just kills himself off-screen. Closure.
The dead are mourned as the Credits roll.
What a silly, but pretty fun Film. It's certainly not going to win any Awards. Is it terrible? Not really. It's kind of what you would expect from a Rob Cohen Film made in 2005- for better or worse.
The Premise- which is often cited as Top Gun meets 2001- is basic enough to work. The Acting is fine. Some of them- like Lucas- clearly try harder than others- like Foxx. When he's not in the Plane, he plays a pretty standard 'cool guy.' The others at least give more and get more to do as well.
In defense of the Film, the Special Effects mostly hold up quite well. That said, it's why the Film cost $135 million (around $200 million today). So, at least the money was well-spent. There are little bits that don't work- like the CGI Plane not displacing water as it flies a few feet over- but it mostly looks nice. As a counterpoint, the Film only made $79 million, so maybe it was too much money well-spent.
I should also note that I got the Special Edition DVD from 2005- the only one released to date- and it has a whole Bonus Disc of Features/Music Videos. I also have the Promo Disc for the Film from Best Buy. Is that a confusing 'humble brag' or an attempt at Sequel Baiting, like the actual Film does...
Next up, a '70s Action Film Starring...Leslie Nielsen?!? I didn't buy the VHS, so let's go digital (which is still a VHS Rip anyhow). Stay tuned...
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