'50s Trash?: Thunder Road (1958)

 This one is a personal pick from my Parents, so blame them if you disagree.  This is Thunder Road, a 1958 Film for Robert Mitchum.  If you like Films like this, they are 'Passion Projects.'  For instance, Kevin Spacey wanted to play Bobby Darrin for so long that he took the chance even when he was too old.  That was definitely the last mistake he'd ever make!  If you don't like the final product, then a Film like this is called a 'Vanity Project.'  For instance, Matthew McConaughey taking time away from Award-winning/nominated Films to make Surfer Dude.  If you want to go more Era-related, see Glen or Glenda?, where Ed Wood infamously took the tale of the World's first (official) Gender Reassignment Surgery...and turned into a tale of him finding love while also wearing lady's clothing.  I don't mock him for that part- just the ridiculous Film.  In this case, Mitchum allegedly heard the tale of Moonshine Runners (after one's famous death) and wanted to make the Film.  To get it done, he brought a Director out of retirement in Film (his last one was in 1944) and tried to go big with the Casting.  He is credited as a Writer and a Performer for the Film's Title Track.  The Film exists solely due to him, his influence and his desire to see it made.  So is it a Passion Project or a Vanity Project?  To find out, let's drive on...

Mitchum starts as a Moonshine Runner who has the most backstory of anyone.

He served in 'The War' and is scared of nothing!

He's back home with his Mother and  Brother...who is younger than him...and looks more like his Son.

Yeah, it's his Son.

He tried to get Elvis to play this part, but his Manager allegedly asked for too much money.

Oh well, your Son in his first Role ever is a good replacement!

He talks to the Elder of the Family who tells him that a new guy from 'the City' is trying to take over.

So, to be clear, the bad guys who run from the Cops/Federal Agents are not the bad guys because...other bad guys exist?

Remember how 'noble' Mitchum and company are as they cause Federal Agents to be killed in a car wreck while pursuing them.

Also take note of how fake all of the driving bits are.

Too bad the Film is ALL ABOUT DRIVING!

Mitchum drives into the City to meet with the guy he's heard about.  He gets the usual 'join us or be taken over' speech.

As you can see, Mitchum doesn't agree.

To pad out the runtime, we get this romance sub-plot with him and this Singer.

When Robert Mitchum is in company bad enough to ruin Scenes he's in, the less said the better!

Things escalate as the City Boss targets Mitchum and other Runners.

We get some collateral damage as one Runner buys Mitchum's previous car, only for it to get blown up in retaliation.

This takes out two Federal Agents as well.

The main Agent goes to talk to Mitchum's Son...er, Brother.

In front of this totally real location, the latter denies everything, while the former does the 'call me when you want to talk' spiel.

Totally real!

There's an awkward break as the Third Act begins...

Mitchum evades a trap, but is stuck.

People keep finding him that want to (but not the bad guys, somehow!).

He insists on going on a final run as pressure mounts.

He...dies, which is kind of a given considering the origin of this tale.

At least his Son-Brother and his Not-Girlfriend live happily ever after.

A possibly-well-intentioned dud.  So I'm adding a qualifier there for a good reason.  Was being an illegal Moonshine Runner considered to be an 'heroic' profession?  Is that context just lost after 60+ years?  If so, I can understand the idea behind this.  If not, then...not so much.  Mitchum tries to glamorize people that were outright breaking the law.  Was it supposed to be okay because they could die too?  The whole thing is built around Mitchum as some noble, well-intentioned man who sticks to his principles.  I'm sure the dead people appreciate you sticking to them!  Getting past all that, the Movie just looks and feels kind of cheap lots of the time.  All of the driving bits look fake as hell and the crash footage they use never quite matches.  The Acting ranges from alright to outright terrible.  So I can't related to our Hero or his plight...and everyone else is not great either.  Nice!  Thunder Road is definitely a Vanity Project and that's a shame.  An even-handed and better take on this would be nice (assuming it doesn't already exist).  Fun fact: besides featuring his eldest Son, Mitchum also put his younger son Christopher in as this boy in the back.  Thankfully, he never lived to see him play Santa in David DeCoteau's Santa's Summer House...

Next time, I take a compare-contrast look at a classic Sci-Fi Film and an in-name only TV Remake.  Will Plants conquer us all?!?  Stay tuned...

New Streaming: The Mandalorian- 'The Siege'

 As you wait for the Holiday malaise to pass, remember what happened last week on...

Seeking repairs, The Mandalorian returns to a familiar Planet and some familiar places.

Here's a Game- Spot the Director!

Here's a hint- it's not the person who's hiding on Parler and posting Nazi Pics...

While they're away, The Child will just steal another Scene...

Can our Heroes find out what secrets are in the Base?
Can they escape even if they do?

As a bonus, here's some Stormtroopers on Speeder Bikes.

Neat.

To find out what happens, watch the Show.

Another good Episode that manages to work a Plot into a Pit Stop.  Did we need this Plot?  Yes and no.  Yes, they are stopping before they get to the main Plot.  They are doing so in a logical way- they did beat the crap out of that ship, after all.  If you're in lots of trouble and things aren't going great, wouldn't you stop to see some friends?  If your car is held together with half a roll of duct tape, all the more reason.  They acknowledge that this is a diversion in the Episode too, so points for lamp-shading.  Said Plot is a good one as it gives us some immediate action, sets events in motion for the rest of the Season and teases something big.  Giancarlo Esposito shines yet again as the Season 2 Villain in a Prestige Show.  Is there an Emmy for that?  If so, he's got it in the bag!

Next time, the Plot thickens and the action ramps up.  Will our Hero find the people he's looking for?  See you then...

Top 10 Movies I'm Thankful For (and the Reasons Why)

 Instead of doing a bad Horror Film with a killer Turkey or something to do with Evil Indigenous People, let me try something different.

Here's a random sampling of Films from various times and places that I'm thankful for.

I have my reasons.
Here's why...

#10: The Thing (1982).

Why: It introduced me to Body Horror. 

While it certainly didn't invent the idea, John Carpenter's all-time Classic is one of the go-tos for this kind of thing.  Alongside The Fly (which I didn't see until later), the Film makes you see people...and then see them turned into something freaky.

The Film has aged like fine wine and its freaky on-screen horrors can still traumatize people today.

#9: UHF

Why: It showed me how crazy and creative you can be.

'Weird' Al's Cult Classic is a strange Film to sell- no question.  A listless, but creative man inherits a TV Station and inspires a Town.  Wheel of Fish!  The Movie has many great Film Parodies mixed in as Dream Sequences like that make the Film great.  I got to see it again in a Theater (for the first time) before all this insanity and I love it all the more.

#8. Batman (1966).

Why: It showed me what a 'Camp Film' was.

As a kid, I saw the original Batman Film with Adam West and Burt Ward.  I enjoyed the insanity of it all, from the bright outfits to the silly Acting to the whole kitschy presentation.  Watching again when I was older, I got to see it more for what it was.  Was it silly?  Yes.  Was it dated?  Yes.  Do I love it in spite of AND because of this?  Yes.

#7. Batman (1989)

Why: It showed me what a dark, nuanced Superhero Film could be.

So different and yet so much in common!  It is a study in contrast.  As a kid, I saw the Michael Keaton Batman Film and was amazed.  I obviously get more out of it watching it *now* than back then.  

Even so, I can remember seeing that Film for the first time and being blown away.  It made seeing the above Film feel all the more special, oddly enough.

#6. Deep Red/Profondo Rosso (1975)

Why: Introducing me properly to Italian Thrillers/Horror.

I don't show nearly enough love to Dario Argento on this site, I think.  Before I was blogging even here, I discovered his work.  Deep Red was the first and it is just so damn good.  It introduced me to Giallo, which is essentially Italian Pulp Thrillers (hence the name, which means 'yellow', that represents the cheap, yellowing paper of the Books).  The Maestro has many more Films, but this one started it all for me.

As a bonus, he frames a shot to match the famous 'Nighthawks' Painting.  Who does that?!?

#5. Cannibal Holocaust (1982).

Why: It's so daring and ahead of its time.

For the record, I've only seen it 3x.  Yes, that is 3x more than alot of people.  CH is not a Film that I would just sit down and watch.  It's intense.  It looks real.  It is graphic.  It is shocking.  The Film straight-up invented the Tropes that others would profit from following The Blair Witch Project.  The Film was seen as so real that actual Murder Charges were brought against its Director.  On top of that, it is a violent, anti-violence Film (e.c. Straw Dogs) that has a relevant feel over 20+ years later.

Just don't watch it while you're eating or around children, sicko.

#4. Sinbad of the Seven Seas (1989)

Why: It introduced me to the work of Luigi Cozzi.

I used to be able to hang out with my friends on the weekend back in the day and go rent Movies from places like Blockbuster or Hollywood Video.  We saw alot of crap like that.  Eventually, good (or at least crazy) Films snuck in.  This was one of them.

The Film features Lou Ferrigno as a muscle-bound hero and John Steiner as the evil Jafar.  During his adventures, Lou charms snakes into letting him tie them into a rope to escape.  He fights a swamp-based monster that shoots lasers.  He fights skeletons.  Throughout the whole thing, he always loses his sword, since he evidently couldn't sword-fight as well as he could flex.

This Film is fun (and I still own it) and it led me to other ones by Cozzi like Contamination, Hercules and, of course, Starcrash.  I own all of them too. 

#3. Battlefield Baseball (2003).

Why: It led me to seek out lots of Japanese craziness.

In that same period of time, we started to see some Foreign Films get mixed in with stuff like Shakedown or The Breed.  BB was one and I loved it.  The premise- a Baseball Team competes on the High School level and straight up kills their opponents to win.  They can do this since they bring a Ref to call it all legal- of course!

Based on a Manga, the Film isn't unique in this level of insanity.  Without seeing this, who knows if I would have seen so much like it in the ensuing years, be it Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, Stacy or Nezulla: The Rat Monster.  Thanks!

#2. Captain America: The First Avenger.

Why: It finally gave us a good Captain America Film.

As a kid, the only Captain America options I had to see on Film/TV weren't great.  The original Reb Brown ones are really embarrassing and stiff.  The 1990 Film with J.D. Salinger's Grandson as the Lead was cheap and kind of awful.  I was big into Comics during this time and it really disappointed me to see it not realized.  

Thankfully, the MCU finally delivered on a (relative) lifetime of disappointing Films about my favorite Hero.  

#1: The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1972).

Why: It defined the absurd and surreal for me.

It's no secret that I love this Movie.  It is pure insanity.  A Triple-Doctorate thought dead uses his knowledge to ritually kill 9 Doctors- and a Nurse- to get revenge.  He speaks through a wire plugged into his neck.  He has a clockwork band.  He's gleefully nuts.

All Films that try to be so crazy that you must love them are compared to this one- period!

What Films are you thankful for?

Rare Flix: Abomination- The Evilmaker 2

 I can't be penalized for skipping the first one when 99% of you don't even know what this is.  This is, in fact, the Sequel to The Evilmaker- Abomination: The Evilmaker 2.  Sadly, it does not feature the return of Abomination, last seen in the MCU in 2008's The Incredible Hulk.  If the Scientist from that Film can turn into Peter Parker's Teacher, then why can't the guy with, you know, HULK POWERS return?!?  I'd rather talk about that than this Movie, of course.  Fortunately, this is the kind of Film that can't fill 90 minutes (barely hitting 80), so they recap the first Film AND pad the runtime with Clips.  Just like Feeders 2, they also distinguish the clips by making them in B&W.  Thankfully, this Film also has about 5 minutes of this, as opposed to what feels like 5 hours.  Mind you, the Film was shot on what looks like an Edison Wax Cylinder, so none of this looks good!  The Plot involves an evil house, an evil presence and more evil.  There's a whole lot of nothing here, but I'll try and get a full Review's worth out of this.  To see what I had to do to finish off a 4-Film set, read on...

Before covering the Film proper, I just have to highlight one of the worst Production Company Logos I've ever seen.  

Am I wrong?

So our Heroine goes to this House.  I should also mention that she's psychic.  The Film will mention it about 200x, so I might as well do it once.

As noted, the Film uses footage from the previous Film as filler/Plot explanation.

The Black & White thing is just trying too hard, which says something for a Film that overall doesn't actually try that hard.  It's an enigma!

The evil has taken the form of her Sister, who is blamed for all of the killings.  I'm having Goth flashbacks and that is not good!

Now here's where it all gets dumb(er)...

That was all a vision!

Yes, even the stuff where she stops and sees a vision of what happened in the last Film- all part of the vision.  This is Inception...but dumb.

She convinces her friend to go help her find out the truth about what happened at the House.  
He's reluctant- literally shoving her out the door the first time she asks- but comes around after seeing more about it on the news.

This leads to them uncovering one of the graves and being knocked out, thus setting up the repetitive Theme of the Film...

While they're out (for at least two hours, which is bad for your health!), her Boyfriend is tricked into coming over, gets seduced and possessed.

When she awakens, she finds him and he throws himself at her, leading to a dissolve and her waking up in bed.

She has the Final Girl Contract Clause- no Nudity.  She's basically alone in that.

So begins the proper repetition of the Film.  Over a series of Scenes, our two Heroes are either knocked out, tied up or both.

To shorten things, here's a collage of those moments...

When they recover, they do a few different things at least...

They kill the attacker (which is sometimes bad).
They use magic.
They literally get saved by an Deus Ex Machina to end the horror.

...or do they?!?

While the day is saved, we see the man attacked (again!) by gas and our Heroine giving birth the the evil woman!

Which was all a dream!

Or was it a vision?

Well, there's no The Evilmaker 3, so who cares?!?

How many different ways can something be bad?  To start with, it's not scary.  It's a Horror Film, so that's a problem!  Stuff happens that *should* be scary, but it never is.  I am pretty used to this kind of thing, to be fair, so maybe it might scare others.  Secondly, the Film is not good to look at.  It's possible that my copy- part of the Vamps 4-Film Set- is just a terrible print.  However, given the overall look of the Film, I don't *really* believe that's the main issue.  Simply put, I don't think that there is a good-looking of this Film.  It was clearly shot on video camera and wouldn't look all that great if you spent the money remaster it in 4k.  Speaking of things that aren't vivid or clear, there's the Plot.  It has an evil being who has possessed/replaced a lady.  It keeps knocking people out and/or trying to seduce them.  I didn't feel like blurring them out, but sufficed to say the Film has a few bits of random, superfluous nudity in it.  It adds nothing.  The whole thing is so repetitive that it kind of gets boring.  There aren't enough crazy visuals or fun to distract you, so it just drags and drags.  Abomination: The Evilmaker 2 isn't funny or strange enough to be a 'so bad it is good' Film- it's just bad.  It sure is a good thing that these people asked for money BEFORE the Film and not AFTER it then...

Next time, I take a familial request.  If you are a famous Star, will your Vanity Project always work out?  Stay tuned...

New Streaming: The Boys - 'What I Know.'

 All good things must come to an end (for now).  Let's get into the final Episode of Season 2 featuring...

Things all come to a head as a Season's worth of planning and Plotting bear fruit.

For instance, what is the goal of the 'Not Scientology' Group led by this guy?

The bigger focus, of course, is on The Boys themselves.

They make a big, bold move after the last Episode that seems well-planned.
Naturally, not everything works exactly right...

Will Strormfront's PR Campaign be enough or will she have to get more 'hands on' to get things done?

As you can see, there might be some push back.

Will things end (for now) on a happy note?  Or will you too be left in shock like poor Starlight here?

To find out, stream the Show.

A strong, chaotic and violent end.  It is The Boys though- what's new?!?  People die.  People cry.  Heads explode.  Hearts break.  It all comes in ways that can both deliver a long-time payoff- like with Stormfront- and also genuinely shock you with their sudden nature- like...ha, no SPOILERS.  They manage to both here which I like.  In the last week or so, a few Shows have managed to genuinely-surprise me with their Plot Twists and sudden turns.  It is good that someone so jaded and used to things can still be all 'oh, that's a surprise!' after all this time.  Kudos, Shows like The Boys.  If you don't like the violent stuff, the Show won't sell you.  It's a shame too, because there are some genuinely good and strong moments/themes that don't involve it.  The 'real life' stuff this Season, for instance, has been great.  This week had a fake PSA for School Safety against Supervillains, which managed not to turn into Parody.  It's a good, violent and crazy Show.  If you're not on board, well, you know how they feel...

After a long, strong Season of shocks, betrayal and insanity, I sure need a break.  That said, the wait until Season 3 will feel very long!

Import/Export: Dick Maas' Uncaged/Prey (2016)

 A Film that comes from the Netherlands, makes it big in China and then shows up in America.  What could this be?

If you are a Chinese-Native Reader of the site, first, welcome.  Secondly, you'll know the Film as 2019's ‘Violent Fierce Lion.’

Despite not being a hit anywhere else, it made lots of Yuan in China!

In (not New, but Old) Amsterdam, a Cameraman and a Zoo Biologist/Veterinarian are in a rocky relationship.

Well, danger can bring you together!

Said danger comes in the form of an escaped Lion, that proceeds to kill a number of people.

Since this is not an American Film, kids actually die (off-screen, mind you).

 
Just a heads up.

The deaths continue as the Police don't do nearly enough to stop it.

There's some Social Commentary about how the Press don't believe it.

That sure does nothing to help this poor guy.

Said Lion is a mix of (mostly bad) CGI and (pretty unrealistic-looking) prosthetics/animatronics.

I'm glad that you get to see the beast...but I wish it looked better.

Can our intrepid Heroes stop the Lion?  Will they somehow keep shooting it to no effect?

Did I somehow make it to the end of this Review without joking that the Director is a dick (since his name is Dick Maas)?

To find out the answer to TWO of those questions, stream the Film.  It's on Amazon Prime or other services.

A pretty fun, if kind of cheap Film.  Is it mean to pick on a Film for its Budget?  Maybe. 

 Will I keep doing it?  Yes.

  Simply put, the Movie is a bit too ambitious.  They want to show the Lion in action...and can't do a great job of it.  There's a part that should be amazing where it chases a guy who is on a Moped.

  Unfortunately, the CGI Lion has a 'floaty' quality that takes away from the visual of it running full speed.  Later bits do work better, so it is not like they *couldn't* do it at all.

  They do commit the Cardinal Sin of Movie a CGI Animal- showing a real one.  Once you see a real Lion about halfway through, the animatronic one's face takes on a real Uncanny Valley feel.  Some Scenes that should be really scary just quite aren't when you can tell that you're looking at either sprites or something that the Henson Company would have rejected.

  The Dubbing here- I watched it that way for convenience sake- is alright, but a bit spotty.  I'd stick with the original Language if I were you.  Hey, if you want to see Jaws with a Lion and in Amsterdam, this is a solid pick.  

If you expect something just above a B-Movie, you can accept the budgetary issues.

  Just don't mix the Film up with 2007's Prey or a *different* Film from 2016 that is also called Uncaged...

A simple, but effective Thriller that is hurt by its Budget.  It wouldn't be a great Film with more money...but it would have helped.

New Streaming: The Mandalorian- 'The Heiress'

 As you can imagine, I didn't wait too long to watch this Episode.  After all, the Internet moves fast and so must I...

After all of the drama and action in the last Episode, The Mandalorian's Ship is not doing great, so he finds a safe port to recover.

Meanwhile, he is being watched by a mysterious woman.

After the Teaser for this, I sure hope it is as good as we're all building it up to be.

Our Hero finds some new allies in a dark time.  Is there a catch to the help they offer though?

Can they deal with a small group of Imperial Soldiers between them and the information they need?

Oh hai Mr. Bosch!

Will they succeed on their mission?  Will that damn Baby Yoda get even cuter?

To find out, stream the Show.  I mean, it is Boss Time, after all.

A strong Episode- naturally.  Right off the bat, I will mention again that I won't go too far into SPOILERS.  I don't want to be that dick who ruins the Show for you.  I like to ruin other things- like your childhood and Movies that are actually kind of Racist- but not that.  So yeah, I'm going to be a bit vague here- as always.  The first thing to note is that Bryce Dallas Howard does another good job here.  If you recall, she did Episode Four of the Series and was quite good.  That one made an AT-AT into a new, scary threat and got Gina Carano to emote (a little bit).  In this one, she gives us a great Intro with the Ship's let's just say inelegant landing on the Planet.  We also get some nice Aliens, more Mandalorians (of a sort) and some classic Star Wars feel.  The last Episode was a Horror Film and the one before that was a Western (meets Creature Feature).  This one is a closer to the classic Action-Humor Formula that has worked so well.  Hey, if Films like Terminator 2, Waxwork 2 and Aliens can pivot, why not this Show?  While she doesn't do all that much, it was also nice to see Sasha Banks here.  Doing more is 'Starbuck' (see below) and she does a nice job here.  I guess redheads stick together.  My only critique is that the Show is edging closer to being something that is just there to sell you on other things.  Case in point: I guess I have to watch Star Wars: Rebels now?  Okay...

Next time, more Space Western action.  Who's going to show up next time?  See you then...