Quick Review: Greystone Park (2012)

As part of my desire to be a completionist, I have to watch the last 2 Films of a 4-Film Set.  One was John Carpenter's The Ward (which was good, but not great) and the other was The Frozen (which was bad).  What will the 3rd Film bring?

The Film begins with a bunch of people- including a now-dead Actress who broke a 35-year retirement for this- talking about Ghosts.

Some believe.  Some don't.
Either way, they keep talking about Shadow Men (not to be confused with Shadow Man- the comic, the game or the bad Seagal Film)

The one who sticks out the most- Oliver Stone!

Yeah, he's here since the Writer/Director/Star is his Son.
He's also ONLY here for this bit, since he still has some credibility to maintain.

After some cross-cutting between them deciding to go to the titular location- a real, abandoned Mental Hospital- and back to the Dinner, they go to it.

Well, three of them do.  The other 'chicken out.'

What follows is really lazy Found Footage stuff, so enjoy this compilation that was pre-made for me.

They wander around and occasionally try to slip in some *spoooky* lore about the place.

It is a real place, so maybe don't try so hard.

What secrets will they uncover?  Will they continue to be scared and wander around with no reason to stay?

Will something from the past prove to be their undoing?  Will the payoff be worth it?

To find out, watch the Film (if you must).

To get the nice stuff out of the way, there are some good visuals here.  The ultimate payoff has some creepy vibes to it and is handled well.  Unfortunately, there is a long, tedious Film you have to sit through to see it.  None of the people are that interesting.  Sean Stone isn't the worst Actor, for one.  I just couldn't be bothered to get invested in these people, all things considered.  The way the Film is shot is really the biggest sin.  They used a real location with lots of creepy stuff in it- great.  They shot it at night and you can only see like 5% of it- bad.  If this wasn't Found Footage, couldn't they have just shot this normally?  It wouldn't have been as cheap and they would have to actually commit to something other than wandering around though.  Oh well- go for the cheap and lazy route.  It is notable that Sean apparently appeared in more of his Dad's Films than any other Actor.  It is also notable that his early directing work was supplementary material for his Dad's Films.  Up until very recently (as in In-Production now), this was also his ONLY directing work as a solo act.  I'm not super-shocked to see that.  For your first real Film, making an easy narrative is understandable.  You just have to make it GOOD if you want to overcome the shortcut.  He didn't.  As it is, the Film is pretty nothing and you can actually see much more of Greystone Park from real footage/pictures online that sell it far better...

A nothing premise with really little creativity put into it.  It's not the worst Found Footage Film, but it definitely one of the more forgettable.